About Me

Kyle Smith (Twitter: @rkylesmith) is critic-at-large for National Review, theater critic for The New Criterion and the author of the novels Love Monkey and A Christmas Caroline. Type a title in the box above to locate a review.

Buy Love Monkey for $4! "Hilarious"--Maslin, NY Times. "Exceedingly readable and wickedly funny romantic comedy"--S.F. Chronicle. "Loud and brash, a helluva lot of fun"--Entertainment Weekly. "Engaging romp, laugh-out-loud funny"-CNN. "Shrewd, self-deprecating, oh-so-witty. Smith's ruthless humor knows no bounds"--NPR

Buy A Christmas Caroline for $10! "for those who prefer their sentimentality seasoned with a dash of cynical wit. A quick, enjoyable read...straight out of Devil Wears Prada"--The Wall Street Journal

Rotten Tomatoes
Search Movie/Celeb

Advanced Search
  • Recent Comments

  • Categories

  • « | Home | »

    Signs of the Apocalypse (Cont.)

    By Kyle | October 13, 2011

    Hardcore, battle-tested, iron-willed jarheads are getting their eyebrows sculpted and tweezed like fashion models. Oy.

    It was just last month that it suddenly dawned on Lt. Col. Jerry Turner, commander of 3rd Squadron, 4th Cavalry Regiment, at Shinwar, that some young men under his command had eyebrows shapelier than Nature intended.

    Lt. Col. Turner dismisses the trend as one of those kids-these-days mysteries of a younger generation. A tall 43-year-old from Sacramento, with an aw-shucks grin and free-range brows, the colonel just shakes his head when he spots pruned arches beneath camouflage caps.

    “I don’t get it, I just don’t get it,” he says. “And you’re not going to get me to get it.”

    Stories like this one make the promise of death a little more gentle. Really, who wants to be around as all of this plays out?

    Topics: Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

    6 Responses to “Signs of the Apocalypse (Cont.)”

    1. K Says:
      October 13th, 2011 at 9:58 pm

      Next up: “Spring Blush” color face camo.

    2. Liz Says:
      October 14th, 2011 at 10:18 am

      Is his what happens when you repeal DADT? How soon before he starts seeing fake tans and signs of botox?

    3. kishke Says:
      October 16th, 2011 at 9:08 am

      “Sculpted and tweezed” is feminine. But having the barber do a bit of trimming along with the haircut is usually a good thing.

    4. Harvey Says:
      November 14th, 2011 at 6:47 pm

      FYI, this is not an issue of “jarheads”, all of the individuals listed in this article are in the Army. The only thing connecting this to the Marine Corps is the statement that the Marine Corps does not allow this type of grooming. So…..yeah, blame the Army.

    5. Kyle Says:
      November 14th, 2011 at 8:41 pm

      I take your point, but why would the USMC need to update the regs to say it is “not authorized” if no one was doing it?

    6. Sgt. David Barnes Says:
      March 1st, 2013 at 11:03 am

      These guys were army I know cause this was my unit and those guys were my brother’s I was on Col. Turners PSD for 2 years and the only reason guys did it was they wanted to look half way descent if and when they got home to there wife’s I myself wasn’t married nor do I have any hair or I probablywoulda done it to its embarrassing to come home to your loved ones and stink AMD look like shit!