By Kyle | February 2, 2010
5. Best Picture for “The Hurt Locker.” C’mon people: This movie is one great scene (which is essentially repeated three times, just to be sure we caught it) and a shapeless second hour. We get it: War is a drug. Four words do not a story constitute, let alone a great story, let alone a great movie. This movie reminds me of Tom Wolfe’s comment, in “The Painted Word,” that a postmodernist painting like something by Jasper Johns was essentially a rebus leading you to a single, simple message.
4. Best Screenplay for “District 9.” Ooh, the aliens are kinda like black people in Jo-Burg shantytowns. Deep, man.
3. Best Picture for “District 9.” Maybe on another planet. Not even a good or original sci-fi movie, much less an Awards Season Contender. “Iron Man” was about three times better.
2. Woody Harrelson, Best Supporting Actor for “The Messenger.” Being all drunk and crazy (on a mission that would seem to require the opposite of these qualities) is all it is.
1. Best Screenplay for “The Messenger.” A hummvee of anti-military cliches. Truly one of the worst “serious” pictures of the year, utterly lacking in interest.
Question: Are the Oscars even worth watching this year? I suppose so, because Baldwin and Martin are pretty funny. And as long as “Inglourious Basterds” has a chance, I’m into it. Also I’m chuffed to see Nick Hornby getting a well-earned nomination for “An Education,” which also richly deserved its Best Picture and Best Actress nominations. Write more movies, please, Nick.