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“Who Gave Unto Me This Wedgie?”
By kyle | July 30, 2007
Am I a liberal sugar-footed asswipe? The second-most controversial review I’ve ever written is of the Athens v. Sparta slugfest “300.” Here is my original review; here are some of the frothier bits of reader response. Hey, I only called it a Hitler recruitment video, fellas! (And backed it by noting the fact that Herr Adolf actually used the story to rally the troops when he had hours left to live.) “300″ comes out on video tomorrow.
Sidenote: this was one of two stories this year that caused many readers to assume that I am Jewish. Weird.
July 30th, 2007 at 3:09 am
Worry not, Kyle. I got your back. Those semi-retarded crack heads who so brilliantly critiqued you must have forgotten to refill some prescriptions. Why they would you accuse you of being a liberal is beyond me. In many of your articles it is apparent that you are a raving conservative. The most recent example is Sicko, where you really ripped apart that movie.
Another example is when you really ripped the movie The Three Burials of Whatever that Spanish guy’s name was. Premise of the movie: All illegals are just cute little adorable pets who want to work hard, while we gringos are evil and want to destroy everything in our path.
They should also recall Blood Diamond where you stated how people love to blame America for every little problem that happens on this Earth.
You also pointed out in Flightplan how you almost laughed when you saw “bearded, swarthy” men and wondered what kind of role they would play. (Really liked those quips about Jen Anniston and Angelina Jolie never being in a buddy comedy together and that Tom Cruse would never play a gay man. Although, my all-time favorite line of yours was in your BI II review: “In the last movie we snatched a glimpse of Catherine Trammel – I could possibly have that backwardsâ€Â)
While I’m writing I have to object to a couple of ratings you gave. The first is Over the Hedge. I still wonder why you gave that movie 3 1/2 stars. I have never been so bored. And why did you give Batman Begins 4 stars. Don’t you think a lot of the dialogue was out-right cheesy. Also they could not have picked a worse woman to play the lead than Katie Holmes.
I also just saw Good Shepherd and was quite pleased when I saw your words on the back of the DVD. “The Godfather of CIA movies, raises the level of all cloak and dagger movies.†I can certainly understand why Godfather came to mind. Matt Damon certainly did a good job of channeling Michael Corlene as an ice-cold hearted meanie who never smiled and never said one more word than he had to. I have to admit though Damon’s performance was really good. I don’t understand why he wasn’t at least nominated for an Oscar. Although Lumenick had it right when he wrote how Jolie was “spectacularly miscast.†I mean come on can any really imagine Jolie taking any kind of abuse from a man, let alone 20 years as a miserable wife. It was really hard to swallow. But other than that the movie was really good.
As you can see I really love talking movies. And don’t worry about the hate mail. Every famous person gets it. It just means you’re doing your job.
Jack Brody
August 1st, 2007 at 4:08 pm
The problem with you review of 300 is this: you thought about the movie, ya know, with your brain.
You should have done what I, and so many others did, leave the brain at home and enjoy the movie for what it was; very, very, pretty and an accurate history lesson too!
Alright so it wasn’t that accurate, but can you really blame them for leaving the heroic Athenian Themistocles out? I mean his name is really hard to pronounce.
November 14th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
How dare that guy call you sugar-footed!