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Review: “Mamma Mia”
By Kyle | July 19, 2008
SUMMER CAMP
Kyle Smith review of “MAMMA MIA”
2 stars out of 4
The big-screen version of the ABBA musical “Mamma Mia” is a startling leap forward in gay technology that must be seen to be disbelieved. This movie could not be lighter in its loafers if its central number were retitled “Prancing Queen.”
The script, which is about a young bride-to-be on a Greek island who invites three men (Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgaard) who might be her father to the nuptials without telling her mother (Meryl Streep), is quick to clarify what is on its mind. Firth and Brosnan are stranded while waiting for a, er, ferry. Colin turns to Pierce to say, “Bugger!” but instead of replying, “No, thank you,” Pierce says, “My sentiments exactly.” Firth, upping the ante, says, “Bollocks!” Brosnan: “My sentiments exactly.” This kind of saucy flirtation hasn’t been seen at the movies since C-3PO first met R2-D2.
The ABBA songs of “Mamma Mia” are perhaps not the favored anthems of your local rugby squad or Navy SEAL unit to begin with; few are the countries that have been invaded while “Voulez-Vous” blasts out of the Hummvee, though if ever we have cause to invade Belgium, “Waterloo” would seem the obvious choice. Nevertheless, the realization of the songs is beyond camp. This is a musical comedy with terrible jokes (“I grew up.” “Then grow back down again”) that is nevertheless hilarious.
Who will ever forget the sight of Streep on a sun-splashed rooftop, writhing suggestively (!) in her overalls, to the title song? Or Streep, again, moving blockily to accompany herself on the goodbye ballad “The Winner Takes It All,” spinning around on a rock and finally balling up her shawl and flouncing away in a huff of self-pity?
When Brosnan, in his blinding white pants, attempts to burst “dramatically” into a doorway so he can croak out, “S.O.S.,” I have seldom laughed harder. A laugh is a laugh, and to laugh at (not with) “Mamma Mia” is irresistible. Brosnan, who is supposed to be American but puts out about one-eighth of the effort necessary to nail the accent, will also be glimpsed loosely pumping his fist in the air while crying “Whoo-whoo-whoo!”
A scene in which the groom’s shirtless beach blanket buddies, who are throwing him a bachelor party, peel him away from his bride in order to force him to join their merry band as they goose-step along the dock, while wearing flippers, with maximal flapping of arms, suggests a re-enactment of the invasion of the Sudetenland conducted by the Village People during a weekend on Fire Island. It is possibly the gayest moment ever recorded in the whole of human history, and yet things get ever so much gayer. (Stay through the closing credits if you doubt my word. I am talking about Brosnan in a royal blue skin-tight chest-baring jumpsuit that Liberace would have described as a bit much.)
Firth keeps saying things like, “I’d quite like to freshen up” and “Might I be shown my room now?” and “There wouldn’t by any chance happen to be a trouser press down here?” No doubt you are correcting me in your mind: “Not gay. Just British.” I’ve forgotten so please remind me: what exactly is the difference? You’ve heard what the Blighty boys get up to at public school, haven’t you?
There are times when “Mamma Mia” makes “Hairspray” seem like “Magnum Force” by comparison. I have no reason to suspect Meryl Streep is a gay man, but did RuPaul write her dialogue? Wielding a power drill, she is asked if she’s “getting any,” at which point she powers up the drill and says, “Down boy!” She also worries about “A crack in my courtyard,” but do we really want to hear about her crack?
Much of the talk is far worse. Did I really hear the words, “I won’t be muzzled by an ejaculation?” And, “Harry’s talked Tanya into water sports!” and “He’s all mouth and no trousers” and “Get the meat out of the heat”? Still, I could praise all of this and more if only the movie had provided me with a warning to avert my eyes before it provided a shuddery glimpse of Skarsgaard’s butt cheeks.
The Streep character and her battle-ax friends (Julie Walters, Christine Baranski) sing into vacuum cleaners and hair dryers in “Dancing Queen,” then strut around in pyramid formation. Everyone and everything is “fabulous” or “gorgeous” or “a little minx,” and at a, well, climactic moment a geyser busts out of the floor and bare-chested boys revel in it, in slow motion. Walters is definitely onto something when she says, “It’s very Greek.” Really, what kind of movie borrows its plot from the 80s miniseries “Lace”? All that is missing is a scene in which the bride asks, “Which one of you three bitches is my father?”
Topics: Broadway, Europe, Movies, Music |
July 20th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Are the gay jokes really neccessary?
July 21st, 2008 at 11:44 am
Is the movie all that gay or are you merely confused?
/tired-ass blog commenting
July 21st, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Is it really necessary to ask if the gay jokes are necessary?
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm
hilarious review
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:34 pm
‘Are the gay jokes really neccessary?’
Very ghey.
July 27th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Although the reviewer is clearly looking entirely to hard for gay subtext in places where it really isn’t (get the meat out of the heat is gay? What about the potato salad? If you leave mayo in the sun…oh, never mind), this review had me laughing my @ss off. The guys dancing in flippers was especially funny, and yes, pretty gay :-p
July 28th, 2008 at 3:18 am
the line was “I won’t be MUSCLED out by an ejaculation” not muzzled
August 5th, 2008 at 1:03 am
I agree in some regards, and Mamma Mia is no masterpiece of cinema of course.
But with regard to the comedy, much of what you smugly said you laughed “at not with” (in some apparent belief that you are too smart for this movie’s “simple” comedy) was in fact intended to be funny (obvious to everyone but you?). So I guess you laughed “with” the movie after all.
As for all the “this is so gay” complaints, the rest of us got over that by the time we finished Junior High. It really doesn’t make you funny, as you seem to think.
August 29th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
All in all, I’m inclined to agree.
September 9th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
What a joyless review of a joyful film.
And to carp on that a musical using Abba songs is “too gay” rather misses the point somewhat!
September 19th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
You are clearly deep in the throes of a severe homosexual panic. Come out and be happy or get over it.