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Review: “The Happening”
By Kyle | June 13, 2008
NON-EVENT
Kyle Smith review of “The Happening”
1.5 stars out of 4
91 minutes Rated R (graphic violence)
When a malicious breeze begins to blow in “The Happening,” fear sets in: the fear that the only thing that will occur is the Shyamalan hitting the fan. Someday this movie’s principal claim to fame will be that it inspired an episode of The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror (”The Crappening”?).
Let’s review the oeuvre of M. Night Shyamalan since “The Sixth Sense”: stupid ending, stupid ending, stupid ending and, in a change of pace with his last film, “Lady in the Water,” stupid all the way through. For his latest trick this back-room-of-the-Ramada magician has given us: no trick at all. “The Happening” has no ending. I count that as an improvement over “The Village” and “Unbreakable,” each of which concluded with one of the fastest audience stampedes out of a theater I’ve ever seen.
“The Happening” is about unexplained outbreaks of mass suicide in several northeastern cities. Shyamalan has a lot of fun imagining cool ways you could kill yourself if you weren’t afraid of pain. Drive your jeep into a tree? Too obvious. How about lying down in front of an industrial-sized lawnmower or punching out a window with your skull? A pair of schoolteachers (Mark Wahlberg, John Leguizamo) and the wife (Zooey Deschanel) of the Wahlberg character try to guess what’s happening as the background boils with speculation. Could it be terrorism? Does it have to do with bees? How about chemical weapons seeping out of the CIA? Since we’re (as always, with M. Night) in Pennsylvania, there are unique potential sources of toxins to worry about, such as Three Mile Island and Philadelphia Eagles fans.
There is a lot of chatter about global warming, about science, about geometric progression, about ecological disaster. “Calculus, calculus, calculus!” someone mutters, but if those are the only remaining options, I’d just as soon saw my neck open on the nearest broken window too. As in “The War of the Worlds,” rumor takes over and people’s immediate reaction is to flee somewhere, anywhere, shooting whoever gets in their way. But the story isn’t a puzzle in which scene yields more pieces that the audience tries to learn how to put together. It’s just setup, setup, setup, the end. When Betty Buckley turns up as a bitter off-the-grid loner, such is Shyamalan’s dismal track record that you suspect right away that she serves no purpose except to pad the running time.
Shyamalan has hit on something, though, and he does set up an IV drip of tension. The moment is right for a movie like this. Eco-unease and terrorism are in the air, both of them (for many) carrying the stink of our own sins as a plausible root cause. It wouldn’t take much to persuade today’s audience that the answer blowin’ in the wind is that a hard rain’s a-gonna fall. With a slightly brainier imagination at work “The Happening” could have been a spooky little art film whose purpose wasn’t so much to tell a linear story as to strum on our inner sense of looming catastrophe, the unanswered questions adding to the dread.
That would call on skills Shyamalan has not shown since his only good movie: making characters interesting and dressing up dialogue with something other than plodding functionality (”Whatever is happening is happening to smaller and smaller populations”), red herrings (”We had tiramisu together. That is it!”) or dull jokes (”I’m talking to a plastic plant.”). Laying down a witty or ironic subtext, as Stanley Kubrick would have, is not within Shyamalan’s powers. Kubrick’s films are made to be pondered over repeated viewings. No one will watch any of Shyamalan’s recent films twice. A movie that features Wahlberg suggesting everyone try to outrun the wind can barely be watched once.
Topics: Movies |
June 12th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
I actually liked ‘Unbreakable’ but I don’t recall being surprised by the ending. It all made sense that the two characters were opposites. I don’t think it was an extraordinarily great movie. A good movie, yes. But, even if one were to argue that, I don’t think it could be considered a terrible movie.
Irrespective of my take above, I used to snicker when I would hear of ‘The Happening.’ It seemed like a title to a fake movie in ‘The Simpsons,’ like ‘The Bloodening,’ which was their parody of ‘Village of the Damned.’
It seems Shyamalan doesn’t need outside parody. He can do it all himself.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
“Let’s review the oeuvre of M. Night Shyamalan since “The Sixth Sense”: stupid ending, stupid ending, stupid ending and, in a change of pace with his last film, “Lady in the Water,” stupid all the way through. For his latest trick this back-room-of-the-Ramada magician has given us: no trick at all.”
Wow, you clearly love to hate Shyamalan too much to write even a biased review. It reads like slander. Your smug sense of sarcasm pervades the entire text.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
“Someday this movie’s principal claim to fame will be that it inspired an episode of The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror (”The Crappening”?).”
Now that’s classic snarkiness - well done!
June 13th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Thank you for pointing out that Unbreakable was one of the worst movies ever. I wanted to take a bowling ball and smash it through the TV screen. I then wanted to punch out Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson for having me believe that after 1 and a half hours of pure boredom something exciting would occur. And then were just left with an ending that is so far out makes so little sense that I just really felt duped. That’s my impromptu movie review.
June 13th, 2008 at 9:52 am
“Wow, you clearly love to hate Shyamalan too much to write even a biased review. It reads like slander. Your smug sense of sarcasm pervades the entire text.”
Wow, you need to get out more! Maybe start dating!
June 13th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
yesterday I wrote on how I thought green entertainment wouldn’t sell for long… then I read Roger Ebert’s review and was surprised at his stark confession in the review.
“I know I have. For some time the thought has been gathering at the back of my mind that we are in the final act. We have finally insulted the planet so much that it can no longer sustain us. It is exhausted. It never occurred to me that vegetation might exterminate us. In fact, the form of the planet’s revenge remains undefined in my thoughts, although I have read of rising sea levels and the ends of species.”
Are people really that paranoid to believe pseudo science and FICTION about the Earth?
June 13th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Ebert’s illness seems to have addled his brains. Maybe that was the planet’s revenge!
June 14th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Maybe stay away from things you know nothing of - like Philly Eagle Fans - was not funny you cliched jerk!!!!!!
June 14th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Hollywood gave up the ghost many years ago. I am so NOT surprised when once again another clunker hits the ‘plex. It’s gotten so bad that these newer movies aren’t even worth watching on PPV/HBO/Showtime and the like when available.