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Review: “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”
By Kyle | June 6, 2008
‘SHAMPOO’ MEETS ‘RAMBO’
3 stars/4 Rated PG-13
Kyle Smith review of “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”
If “Munich” is the disease, the Zohan is the cure. Portraying an Israeli James Bond who doesn’t feel guilty about killing Palestinian terrorists but would much rather be styling hair, Adam Sandler turns in his funniest film since “The Waterboy.”
The title secret agent of “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan,” called, “Rembrandt with a grenade,” yearns for not only peace but the opposite of Mossad work: dressing hair. When he is apparently killed by his archfoe, the Palestinian radical “the Phantom” (John Turturro), Zohan takes the opportunity to sneak off to New York City and get a job in an (Arab-run) salon. Zohan argues that making hair smooth and silky “is pleasant, it’s peaceful, no one gets hurt.” His mother disapproves: “Play it safe. Stay in the army.”
Upon hitting New York, Zohan has run-ins with an Arab cabbie (Rob Schneider) who would rather be a telephone rep for the Spiegel Catalog (any reference to the Spiegel catalog is automatically funny), discovers the unofficial headquarters for Israeli immigrants (the dodgy Midtown electronics shop, where a guy sells you a suspicious-looking cellphone while promising, “Push this button? Free HBO”) and tries to avoid the Phantom, who is now running a Palestinian fast food shop that sells its own action figures, whose TV commercials end with the words, “Limit one per customer. America is Satan.”
Sandler, who donates to Republican politicians, is not normally a man who walks the cutting edge of comedy, but Zohan takes political humor much farther than it typically goes in Hollywood movies, providing strong evidence that satiric filmmakers could vastly improve their work if only they were willing to question liberal assumptions about equal guilt for all nations (except more for America). Future cultural historians will look back on our era and say: Really? Did the aughties really feature no more than a handful of movies that even acknowledged the existence of Islamist terror? An Arab in Zohan says she regrets “all the hate on both sides.” Replies Zohan: “Yes, especially yours.” Nothing makes a joke work like an unexpected slap of truth, and Zohan has many such moments.
The movie misses no opportunity to make fun of extremists like Hezbollah, Hamas and Warren Beatty. Most of it is a riposte to and parody of Beatty’s “Shampoo”, about a womanizing hairdresser and the 1968 RFK campaign. Zohan styles the hair of elderly Jewish women while talking dirty to them, executing movements that would make a Chippendales dancer blush, then taking them in the backroom to make their hair stand on end. “You look very bangable,” he tells one old lady, before proving he means it. This is one hairdresser who lathers, rinses and gets repeat business.
The script by Sandler, Saturday Night Live writer Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow tosses in a lot of inspired Mel Brooks-style silliness-playing hacky sack with a cat; a workout scene in which a guy training for a fight punches a heavy bag, then a side of raw meat, then a live cow; Mariah Carey saying, “I love you too, horny little man!” In the climactic scene, there is a Lebanese-Israeli hacky sack championship in which goals are followed by disco breaks.
The movie goes on a good 20 minutes too long — in the final hour, it starts to get very nervous about being fair to Arabs and finally portrays them working peacefully together with Jews, which is indeed a marvel of New York. But to do so it takes a giant step back from reality and turns sheepishly to one of Hollywood’s hoariest notions, that America’s real threat is from some sort of redneck white supremacist group — white inferiorists? Hands up, all those who think lumpy hicks in plaid shirts are as dangerous as Islamist freaks. Sandler also seemingly feels obliged to give everyone he knows a cameo, leading to scenes prominently featuring Henry Winkler and Kevin Nealon that could easily have been cut. One cameo the writers apparently didn’t think of: bringing back Julie Christie, the “Shampoo” vixen, as one of Zohan’s customers.
“You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” is at its best when it channels either maximum absurdity or minimal political correctness. Comedy is at its best when it shows no mercy. “People don’t like us,” complains an Arab. “People don’t like us either,” replies an Israeli. “Why?” asks the Arab. “Because,” the Israeli replies, “they think we’re you.”
June 6th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
[...] Review: “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”Deeds,”) Adam Sandler has stopped trying to be Tom Hanks for the moment. He comes up with his funniest movie since “The Waterboy,” “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.” My review is here. (Warning: portions of this movie are politically …KyleSmithOnline.com - http://kylesmithonline.com [...]
June 6th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
But is “funniest movie since The Waterboy” really a compliment?
June 7th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
I try to give a sense of what audience a movie will appeal to. That line about the Waterboy serves a purpose. If you didn’t like The Waterboy, you’re probably not going to like this one. If I say something is comparable to “Fanny and Alexander,” I’m alerting a different audience.
June 7th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I usually can at least agree with parts of your reviews but not this one. This movie is God-awful.
First, Judd Apatow has an annoying obsession with male nudity. Second - it just wasn’t funny. Sure, it had it’s moments where I enjoyed a light chuckle. But I am so tired of these “comedies” that feature farting/excrement/nudity humor more than anything else. Is there really anything funny about Sandler with a fish inbetween his butt cheeks? What about the inordinant about of crotch shots? Or Sandler putting out a fire with a big jar of hummus? Mariah Carey’s appearance only crippled the movie even more. It’s all just ridiculous. I cannot believe you gave it a 3 out of 4.
Also - fact error in your review. The Phantom was not in New York. While reading that Israeli tabloid, Zohan’s friend said that the Phantom was coming to New York to deal with Zohan. He wasn’t living there.
June 7th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
That was supposed to read “inordinate amount of crotch shots.”
June 7th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
I do think that every crotch shot I have seen in an an Apatow movie is amusing, but this is simply because I have an enormous willie.
June 8th, 2008 at 10:28 am
“this is simply because I have an enormous willie.”
Don’t tell me, it’s in a jar of formalin on your desk?
June 8th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
What is truly remarkable is your ability to subtly endow your review with all the trimmings of your blatant Islamophobic inclinations, thus reinterpreting purely controversial humor to suit your own political perspective, calling into question your the credibility of your review and your integrity as a reporter.
June 8th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
This was the most horrendous movie I have ever had the misfortune of enduring. Adam Sandler must have sold his soul to the devil to get this made. The product placement alone was enough to make one cringe…there wasn’t even the slightest attempt to make it seamless. There’s actually a mini Sony Erikson commercial in the movie, for god’s sake. Who could ever think this film is worth watching, and don’t you pity the poor souls paying ten hard-earned dollars to pad the pockets of this overrated, untalented buffoon?
June 9th, 2008 at 1:08 am
“…Zohan takes political humor much farther than it typically goes in Hollywood movies, providing strong evidence that satiric filmmakers could vastly improve their work if only they were willing to question liberal assumptions about equal guilt for all nations (except more for America).”
What an asinine statement.
I suppose Murdoch pays you well.
How stupid.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:10 am
If this movie portrays America as some sort of peace-maker then it’s just a piece of wrong-headed right wing bullshit.
Thanks for the review. I’ll be sure not to see it. If Kyle Smith likes the politics, avoid it at all costs. For a Yale-educated seemingly smart guy, he’s just always, always wrong.
Do the opposite and think the opposite of this guy.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Wow, this review really brought out the liberal in some people.
1) James “Islamophobic inclinations”
Stating the truth about the hate within that religion is not “Islamophobic”, that is a word invented by the hate mongering group CAIR. That’d be like calling someone _BEFORE_ WW2 Hitlerphobic after reading Mein Kampf. Seriously have people in America read their “Holy” book? It’s a hate filled anti-christian and anti-jewish propaganda… unless you think Allah telling the reader that jews and christians are apes and pigs is equivalent to jesus telling us to love our neighbor?
2) ELHS “What an asinine statement.”
Wrong. The asinine statement is that America deserves the guilt being shoved upon it. Even funnier is that Murdoch is polling for Obama! The guy is not a Republican or even a Conservative.
Let’s look at who is raping Africa… China.
Let’s look at what caused the most human suffering in the 20th Century… Various forms of Marxism. Yet somehow America is to blame for other countries misguided policies? America is to blame for a religion that spews hate from childhood?
June 9th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Mo, your ignorance precedes you. Comparing a population of more than 2 billion people, 30% of the world, to a genocidal dictator is exactly the sort of ideal that fuels the “hatred” of the minority radicalist groups within that vast religion. I would also postulate that you have most definitely never read the Koran, yet profess to possess all its teachings with arrogant mastery.
Your xenophobic “hear-no-evil, see-no-evil” rambling is exactly the kind of attitude that has to be eradicated from the American political landscape, no matter who you may support for president.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:35 am
This review seems to me to be colored, not only with xenophobia, but also with a tragic lack of context. To call this the best comedy since the Waterboy suggests you have missed out on some fantastic movies in the last ten years. If avant garde and cutting edge is what you crave than this falls desperately short of many of its contemporaries. More and more often I’ve seen that the funniest and least contrived comedic movies do not pull in the big box office dollars and sadly most of them don’t even make it in wide release. It’s too bad a huge budget and A list celebrity cameos can’t make up for an A grade script!
June 11th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Alex, far be it from me to suggest your reading skills are in need of improvement, but please point out to me where I called this “the best comedy since ‘The Waterboy.’”
June 13th, 2008 at 11:29 am
@James
Of the terrorist acts committed worldwide in the past 40 years, what percentage was committed by Muslims?
June 13th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
I’ve read some of the replies to this guy’s review of the movie and man you guys really need to understand the movie before you write about it. There were so many inside joke that will make any Jew especially any Israeli fall out of their seat from laughter. This movie was not meant for everyone. As an Israeli, watching it with my bro and eema, we were the only ones laughing when no one else was at one point… which proves my point. Some of the sayings, the wordings, the Israeli drink product placement, the clothes, the Israeli hebrew and arab insults… all classic and I guarantee any one that understands what they were actually saying will love this movie.
June 14th, 2008 at 11:22 am
I loved Kyle’s opening, “If “Munich” is the disease, the Zohan is the cure.”
The movie will not advance the cause of anything except perhaps the radical concept that order women like to bang.
And regarding the political implications,as the Zohan’s ima says,(and I paraphrase) “we’ve been fighting for 2,000 years, it should be over soon.”
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
You guys are taking the whole Islamic.. Arabic… Jewish.. thing wayy wayy to seriously.
I have been a fan of Adam Sandler since Billy Madison and granted not everyone of his movies were a success. Plainly this is another Adam Sandler movie with slapstick comedy and nothing more. If you’re jew bashing arab or a raghead hating jew… that’s your problem and are choosing to vent your frustration and anger on a MOVIE REVIEW website. Get a life, go watch another movie… and forget about this movie if you didn’t like it.
June 24th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I will just like to say that Islam does not promote terrorism. It is a religion of peace. I will like to request people not to believe the anti-muslim media hype but read the translation of The Holy Quran for yourself if you want to know more about muslims. most of these terrorists who kill in the name of islam cannot be real muslims.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
again. Has nothing to do with movie.
June 30th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I went to see Zohan last week on june 27th and I have to say that was the biggest load of crap I have ever seen. The movie was just plain aweful, granted that it had it’s moments but overall a big disappointment. As many above have said… too many crotch shots, stupid scenes, copious amounts of hummus and generally just some bad acting. Adam Sandler did a good job as usual but the overall story and bits that were suppose to be funny.. just weren’t!
July 14th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Three stars out of four? Really?
Kyle, in all seriousness I gotta say I respect your willingness to stand up and say what you’re thinking no matter how goofy it may be.
August 9th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I honestly believe you to be border line retarded. How in the hell did you get hired to review movies for the NY Post? Funniest movie since The Waterboy? The Waterboy was about as funny as pediatric Cancer you talentless hack! You probably enjoyed Little Nikki too!
Do us all a favor and stay out of the theaters because you have absolutely no clue what you are doing. I bet when someone asks you about Brando’s performance in The Godfather, your response is, “The Godfather? I only saw the good one…….you know, part 3!”
August 11th, 2008 at 6:43 am
Brady, he never said it was the funniest movie since Waterboy. READ THE ARTICLE.