About Me

Kyle Smith (Twitter: @rkylesmith) is critic-at-large for National Review, theater critic for The New Criterion and the author of the novels Love Monkey and A Christmas Caroline. Type a title in the box above to locate a review.

Buy Love Monkey for $4! "Hilarious"--Maslin, NY Times. "Exceedingly readable and wickedly funny romantic comedy"--S.F. Chronicle. "Loud and brash, a helluva lot of fun"--Entertainment Weekly. "Engaging romp, laugh-out-loud funny"-CNN. "Shrewd, self-deprecating, oh-so-witty. Smith's ruthless humor knows no bounds"--NPR

Buy A Christmas Caroline for $10! "for those who prefer their sentimentality seasoned with a dash of cynical wit. A quick, enjoyable read...straight out of Devil Wears Prada"--The Wall Street Journal

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    Childless People Should Worship Parents

    By kyle | April 28, 2016

    Our kids, whom we raise at considerable cost, are going to grow up to fund your retirement. More in a column.

    Topics: News | 15 Comments »

    15 Responses to “Childless People Should Worship Parents”

    1. K Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 12:13 am

      My wife and I don’t have children. We pay for the education of your children through our property taxes. I calculate that if about half of our property tax was placed in a bank or the stock market and got an average of 5 percent over a 40 year period prior to retirement, that it would give us a large percentage of what we need to live comfortably. The other half, of course would be the value of the money that we paid into SS. Since we make well over the average income, a significant amount “social security insurance” deduction money we pay goes to the people who decided to have children and therefore couldn’t afford to save for retirement because they were paying for their kid’s college/music lessons/sports equipment/etc. That’s not counting the tax money not paid by parents due to their heir deduction. Finally, your kids will (hopefully) be around to give you joy in your old age while we will be miserable and alone. Or perhaps having a blast on Hawaiian cruises.

      Enjoy your kids, Kyle and congrats on doing your part to keep America non islamic. I salute your sacrifice.

    2. Kyle Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 10:41 am

      …and if the public schools were closed, what then? A lot of miscreant children dumped out on the streets with nothing to do, no? Gangs of teenagers roaming the streets all day, every day, would not be a good thing.

    3. Jerry Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 10:18 am

      Smith is a pretend ‘conservative’. He is full of it. I have 3 kids and I pay for their education. Smith the ‘conservative’ also makes me pay for his kids eduation in public school. He is a moocher who pretends he is a ‘conservative’.

      I dint care if people have kids or not that’s their business. I do care when I have to pay for other people’s kids like smiths kids. If smith werent full of it he wouid pay his own way not freeload

    4. Kyle Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 10:39 am

      You again? You keep posting this exact comment every few months. Fatuous arguments don’t become more convincing via constant repetition, I’m afraid.

    5. Jerry Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 10:56 am

      Smith comment #2, typical liberal, case closed

    6. Jerry Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 11:00 am

      scare people wth stupid scare stories to get me to pay for his kids so he can spend his money on other things, typical liberal/left BS, case closed. Pay your own way hypocrit

    7. JimmyC Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 12:20 pm

      K, do you really think if we didn’t need to fund public schools, your property taxes would just go away? Of course not; the government would just find something else to do with that money.

      Personally, I think we should privatize all schools and implement a voucher program, but let’s not kid ourselves here.

    8. Jerry Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 12:40 pm

      What ever money people like Smith save because we have to pay for his kids school not him, he can spend on vacation and having a good time while the rest of us pay for it.Thats a ‘real conservative.’ Talk s good game and mooch my money

      Everybody has an excuse or a reason but it comes down to people like me have to pay for my kids and smiths kids while he doesn’t have to pay for shit and can sit on his ass on vacation and tell everyone whata conservative he is. Bs

    9. Kyle Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 12:57 pm

      Jerry, come up with something new to say. I won’t be publishing this comment the next 20 times you send it in.

    10. Jerry Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 1:00 pm

      typical liberal. Has nothing so say is a hypocrit and censors. I’m out

    11. Obama bin Biden Says:
      April 29th, 2016 at 1:30 pm

      So what’s new at the movies?

    12. Kraal Says:
      May 1st, 2016 at 11:48 am

      Childless people are evolutionary dead ends.

    13. Jordan Says:
      May 2nd, 2016 at 11:48 am

      yeah yall love them babies except when the nigras is making them then yall want to sterelise mothers and throw they kids into mass incarcarasion

      call bs on this bull

    14. kishke Says:
      May 3rd, 2016 at 5:31 pm

      Hey Jordy, you’re the one so eager to abort black babies. But BLM, right?

    15. Obama bin Biden Says:
      May 3rd, 2016 at 9:20 pm

      I agree once again with Jordy.