Kyle Smith (Twitter: @rkylesmith) is a film critic for The New York Post and the author of the novels Love Monkey and A Christmas Caroline. Type a title in the box above to locate a review. Find an alphabetical listing of The New York Post's recent film reviews here.
Buy Love Monkey for $4! "Hilarious"--Maslin, NY Times. "Exceedingly readable and wickedly funny romantic comedy"--S.F. Chronicle. "Loud and brash, a helluva lot of fun"--Entertainment Weekly. "Engaging romp, laugh-out-loud funny"-CNN. "Shrewd, self-deprecating, oh-so-witty. Smith's ruthless humor knows no bounds"--NPR
Buy A Christmas Caroline for $10! "for those who prefer their sentimentality seasoned with a dash of cynical wit. A quick, enjoyable read...straight out of Devil Wears Prada"--The Wall Street Journal 
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« Hate Mail from Waiters | Home | By the Way…. »
By Kyle | March 4, 2013
I don’t actually tip 11 percent. I just thought that was a funny kicker. Generally I just tip double the tax and round up to the nearest dollar. Relax with the threats, it’s just a little comic rant.
Oh, and no profanity is allowed on this site. I can’t edit out all the swearing, so any comments with profanity will be deleted. No threats are allowed either.
Topics: New York City |
March 4th, 2013 at 1:34 pm
I just find it amusing that you think that’s what we wanna be doing. Those little quips you mentioned are more than likely required. And anything less than 20 percent for efficient work is simply unacceptable.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:50 pm
I don’t think waiters should expect to receive 20% for often mediocre service. In the UK 10% is the generally accepted amount. Take it up with your boss if he isn’t paying you a high enough salary, instead of whining about customers.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:23 pm
Sure Jules, I’ll just take it up with my employer tomorrow. Then, on the next day, I’ll be in the unemployment line. You really think it’s just that easy, don’t you?
March 4th, 2013 at 2:29 pm
No waiters or waitresses found your column a “comic rant”
March 4th, 2013 at 2:44 pm
If I’m not mistaken, waiters in the UK also make a living wage from their base salary.
This is not the case in NYC. I do not know of any restaurants in Manhattan that pay a base salary higher than the minimum required. (Which IS less than a normal minimum wage, mind you).
I do find it humorous to hear criticisms from people who have clearly never worked this kind of job. I spent 7 years (during college, summers, and my first 2 years in Manhattan) working as a server and bartender.
Do your research… Perhaps take a service job for 3 months, THEN write another article. I think you will have a very different outlook. I also am very doubtful that you could handle the work based on your points of view.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:57 pm
Since when is 20% the expected tip? I was always told 15%.
Boy, these are some angry waiters.
March 4th, 2013 at 3:17 pm
It might be a good idea to lay low and not eat out for a while until this blows over, or there may be a few unnecessary additives in your dish.
Why would anyone imagine that such threats would incline anyone to be generous with a tip? Tips are for good service, not for refraining from spitting in my food.
March 4th, 2013 at 3:39 pm
So Kyle, I feel very sorry for you. You seem very bitter and judge mental. First off, do you really think its funny to call people servants? Secondly, being polite, thorough, and efficient is our job. Maybe if you didn’t look down on us, you would realize that we are intelligent, fun, honest, and hard working people who are just trying to pay our bills in a very challenging job market. Everyone deserves respect, didn’t your patents teach you this, everyone from the lowly bartender to the mean spirited writer. And Jules you clearly don’t understand how the real world works. And Kishke, it’s been 20% for good service, 15% for average service and 10% for aweful service. Yes you still have to tip for bad service. It’s been this way since our hourly wage hasn’t changed for many decades but inflation continues to grow. I tip at least 30% for good service, and as a result I am warmly welcomed in every establishment I frequent. I get special orders, free drinks and desserts because I tip well and treat my servers with dignity and respect. You should try it sometime and see what it gets you.
March 4th, 2013 at 3:47 pm
funniest line—’i am a capitalist’
doubt mr smith owns anything but his pants
prolly makes less than a waiter
article real funny tho
mr smith commiting prole-on-prole crime
March 4th, 2013 at 3:55 pm
Haha, someone’s back tracking cause they’re scared.
March 4th, 2013 at 4:51 pm
Do you actually read the comments people write to you?
I am college educated, with a degree in business. I serve because I like to, most of the time, until I have to wait on rude people like I assume you to be. I probably make more money than you every year also because most people know how to tip and I am good at my job.
Doubling the tax is not always a good way to leave a tip, do you know the percent of tax everywhere? In New Hampshire it’s 7% right now, Maine, about 5%, New York 8%? Can you do that math?
Lastly because I could “rant” much longer, didn’t your mother tell you to “Think before you speak?”, or how about “Treat others like you want to be treated yourself”.
Either way, good luck buddy, hope that cold/burnt/uncooked foot tastes good from now on!
March 4th, 2013 at 4:56 pm
The piece was about New York City waiters. Tax in NYC is about 9 percent.
March 4th, 2013 at 5:15 pm
Nice backtracking. A comic rant? You might want to start thinking about another career if you actually believe you are funny.
March 4th, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Agreed. When it comes to writing about anything, I honestly don’t see why anyone would take you seriously, either.
March 4th, 2013 at 5:35 pm
What does Kyle’s salary have to do with any of this? You people are just using this as an excuse to attack arbitrary personal details about the writer. I appreciated the humor in Kyle’s column and he wrote earlier that he joked about tipping 11%. Some people don’t tip at all. Leave Kyle alone you outrage-lovers.
March 4th, 2013 at 5:50 pm
Zach, if you, or Kyle for that matter, were to work ONE DAY in a busy upscale NYC restaurant, you would NOT find Kyle’s flippant comment about tipping 11% humorous– on any level. Smith’s “cute little rant” deserves EVERY BIT of VITRIOLE from NYC Waiters, who are some of the most hardworking, stressed out employees on the planet. Makes me almost wish I were still waiting tables myself, because I’d be the first one to sneak up on him right when he took a bite of food and YELL in his ear, “IS EVERYTHING OK???”
March 4th, 2013 at 5:52 pm
You ate truely PATHETIC!! What makes you so much better than a server?!? Your miserable personality I’m sure brings out the worst in most you come in contact with! I hope every dining experience you have for a very long time is as miserable as you are!!
March 4th, 2013 at 6:03 pm
‘Comic rants’ need to be funny. otherwise you just sounds like an a**hole.
March 4th, 2013 at 6:15 pm
LOL! Well, perhaps you should reconsider dining out at all then,if you feel like youre not being served properly. I know I’ll show your article to all my “waitron” friends who you view as mere servants…along with your mousy little picture. We’ll all take in your comical genius…Good day, Sir!
March 4th, 2013 at 6:29 pm
Everyone has a right to their opinion. Mr. Smith included. I was a server while I was auditioning for things and I have to tell you- the last thing I wanted to do was be up someone’s ass while they were eating. I’d crack a few jokes then leave them to their food. I actually detest servers that check on me every 2 minutes with ‘how is everything?’
Anyway, Mr. Smith makes a living offering his opinions - he’s got balls. I applaud that.
March 4th, 2013 at 6:42 pm
Wow Kyle. Your failed attempt at humor has gone viral, meaning your face and vile article is posted on every service blog on the interwebs. You are now the douchebag at table four. People in the service industry really don’t appreciate being referred to as slaves and most decent human beings don’t appreciate it either. Good luck getting any sort of service inside the U.S. Maybe you should move to France?
March 4th, 2013 at 7:10 pm
I waitress and bartend in a family run restruant bar in Pennsylvania. I do not have the luxury of knowing how much I’m going to come home with at the end of the week. I make $2.83 an hour with taxes taken out just like the rest of the country, so afterwards it’s more like a dollar. We make our living from tips. If I don’t make at least minimum wage I am not compensated for it by my employers, as is in most restaurants in the country. Would you argue with a car salesman that your not paying x 1,000 of dollars because you don’t think his salesman deserves his or her entire commission? I don’t understand why waitress and bartenders come under fire for the way we make our money.
March 4th, 2013 at 7:38 pm
Dear Mr. Kyle Smith,
Thank you for your insightful view into the lives of New York City waiters. How thoughtful of you to categorize thousands of hard working, intelligent, and stand-up professionals based on the one or two bad experiences you’ve clearly had recently. No doubt we are all shallow, inept, lazy, greedy, struggling actors who spit on your food when we are peeling it off the floor we threw it on, simply because you snapped your fingers and needed a second drink. How fortunate that you, lucky little you, actually knew a waitress, a human waitress (not a waitron, a term which you certainly didn’t coin but take credit for) who gave you the inside track as to what really happens behind closed kitchen doors. Maybe you should gather up a few thousand more opinions in your survey before you draw such a conclusion and submit for printing. After all, you are a newsman aren’t you? Don’t you reside under the umbrella of providing facts and striving for truth. Or does the unchallenged “veracity”, of one random no name girl who you once knew, qualify as a definitive source? I won’t condemn the publication you work for, I’m sure you have some reputable writers walking your halls (or, I can pull a KYLE SMITH and just assume that since you’re a small minded, temper fueled, dolt, that all Post reporters are as well), but, being well stocked with integrity and a belief that most people are trying their best, I will resist. Instead I will just smile and bask in the knowledge that I’m not you. I won’t assume that you represent the face or ethics of Post writers. I will only question their hiring habits. When are you up for review?
Brief education for you Kyle. French waiters don’t work for tips. They make a respectable wage. NYC waiters do not make a respectable wage. They work for tips. I can’t definitively say that French waiters have decided their pay policy, but I’m quite certain that servers in this city aren’t given a choice. Another fact, just like there are intelligent qualified writers coupled with ink spot hacks (you) working at the NY Post, there are also disciplined, caring, well trained servers (not servants) rubbing shoulders next to spiteful begrudging waiters who need to be fired at several NY City hotspots and dives all around town. You see Kyle, this is an example of someone being fair. This is an example of someone with reason. This is a voice that clearly you do not possess.
Give this a shot. Next time you go out to eat, right from the beginning, very nicely let the entire staff know that you will not be tipping at all. And I mean tell everyone. Tell the maitre’d when you walk in, tell the bartender when you are having a drink before dinner, tell your server when she/he comes over to explain the cuisine and attempts to guide you, and simultaneously five or six other tables, through a wonderful meal and experience. Tell the assistants (what you call busboys) when they are clearing your dirty plates and stained napkins. Then sit back and enjoy the level of service you will receive. I think it is only fair to let people know in advance that they will be working for free. Although I don’t think your writing could get any worse, I wonder if you would even bother to spell check your articles (I use that term generously) if you knew you were working for free. I wonder what would happen if I contacted your boss and told him that your perspective was like an overbearing waiter, that your adjectives lacked color and depth, that the piece went on too long, that based on my opinion, oh, and that of a random girl I know who also read your crooked-eyed rag, we were so offended that our day was irrevocably compromised. Maybe he’d fire you, even though you likely thought you did a good job. But what do I know?
You know Kyle, perspective is an important thing. Next time you go out for dinner, likely by yourself, think of you and your server as a team. That’s how I always viewed the guests I waited on. We were a team. We each wanted the same thing. That thing Kyle…is an enjoyable evening. If you have a good time, I have a good time. If you want me involved in your conversation, invite me in. I’ll joke with you, I’ll be friendly, but I won’t cross the line. I’ll always play off your cue. If you don’t want that, then just indicate that you need something else from me. I’ll always be in your eye line. And if I’m not, because I’m serving another guest, maybe a friend of yours, know that I will be there shortly, because after all, we are a team, remember? If there is something I’m not doing that you need me to, tell me. And if there’s something that I am doing that you would like me to stop, tell me. Just do these things respectfully, and I will do the same. I hear so many servers complain that they should be treated better by rude, clueless guests because we too have college educations and are entitled to be spoken to respectfully. My view is a bit different. I have a college education, but I don’t think it is a requirement for someone to treat me with respect. It should just be given freely in both directions until it is no longer warranted, regardless of education, yours or mine. These are general rules. No doubt, just like working for a newspaper, restaurant industry jobs are very trying on thin skinned under-qualified adults. But you as a guest in a restaurant, whether you like it or not, have a responsibility as well, to treat people with respect.
Consider this Kyle. If you and all your followers stop tipping and all the servers in this city quit their jobs because they aren’t getting paid, then all the restaurants in this city would close. This is a hypothetical. This would likely force you to have several people over to your home from time to time for dinner. When you’re playing host to a dozen of your friends and the hors d’oeuvres aren’t cooking fast enough, or you spill a drink on your friend’s mom, or you break a plate in the kitchen sink and cut your finger open, tell me how you will react when your ‘guest’ yells at you simply because you ask him if he has everything he needs. You’re trying to be hospitable, and he’s acting like a child. Perspective Kyle, perspective.
I’m not telling you that you don’t have some valid gripes. It’s an imperfect business. But your approach this particular time is misguided, uneducated, and offensive. I’ve worked 8-9 hour shifts, five nights a week, fifty weeks a year, for fifteen years in this city. This is not a complaint. This is my job, and I take a ton of pride in it. This doesn’t mean I’m above making a mistake. It just means we’re all human and deserve a length of latitude before an angry critic blames his bad date on an entire industry of employees.
Over the thousands and thousands of guests I’ve served I can honestly say that I have never spit, fingered, thrown on the floor, or compromised any food or drink item that I’ve ever come in contact with. Not one. And there have been some horribly despicable arrogant creatures that have come through my section who deserved much worse. Here are the two main reasons for my restraint. First, (and this reason doesn’t even matter) I work for other people, namely chefs, who would break me in two and fire me immediately for even suggesting it. Do you think someone in the kitchen of Jean Georges, or Eric Ripert, or Tom Collichio, or Daniel Boulud would actually get away with that? And the second reason I would never do that (and the only reason that matters) is because I HAVE SELF RESPECT. If you plan on writing any more restaurants rants, do yourself a favor and call me first. I’d be happy to make some suggestions pertaining to all aspects of restaurant reality. And although I would only be speaking from my experiences, because I don’t claim to know everything, you can rest assured knowing that what I tell you will be true, fair, and anchored in perspective.
Thank you for your time Kyle. I hope your next experience finds a happy path.
David Z
March 4th, 2013 at 7:55 pm
Mr. Smith,
The only thing I will add is if you have to tell people something you write is comical, well, then, perhaps you should rethink your writing skills.
March 4th, 2013 at 8:36 pm
So referring to servers as servants is comical to you? I don’t think its funny. I don’t think its funny to refer to anyone as a servant. I’m getting tired of reading articles that are negative towards the service industry I don’t understand why because if you didn’t have us you wouldn’t be able to go out to eat and enjoy those special occasions. FYI I am a college graduate. A lot of us are and we are doing this job because the economy is not at its greatest so we have no choice at the moment. You had to expect that after writing your article that people would not like it. I don’t think anyone thought it was supposed to be funny while reading it. We all have things going on in our lives and wouldn’t you rather brighten someones day then make them feel like the scum on your shoe? Maybe you enjoy making people feel like that, if so I feel bad for you.
March 4th, 2013 at 8:51 pm
People like you are the reason no one reads the post except to laugh and point at the stupidity that’s published there.
March 4th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
Kyle is obviously a jerk. He did this to get a rise and now is getting concerned that the rise was much larger than he thought it would be. It is also obvious that he thinks he is better than people in the service industry. Fact of the matter is, your rant only proved you are better than no one. Hope you feel great about yourself. I am sure you will have some witty retort but remember that many people now realize what a jerk you are.
March 4th, 2013 at 9:10 pm
Oh! Kyle! You know what you should do?! Never try comedy again. And tip 20%.
March 4th, 2013 at 9:26 pm
Zach,
to many his article was not a joke at all. It was pretty offensive. How would you feel if someone wrote an article this uniformed and cruel about your profession? Or what you feel you need to do to make a living?
and no, a tip should not be held over a customer’s head like some sort of blackmail, but Kyle should expect a good amount of backlash from NYC’S tight knit and intense food community.
March 4th, 2013 at 9:44 pm
Please, sir.
Every time an article like this is written, and then sent to many, our positions are reduced. You show no respect for working individuals. This might be utterly hilarious in New York City, but for many of us, who, by the way, have a job, and are not “on the dole”, and are expected to perform certain duties, this type of viral article only keeps us down. Why can you not see the working person as admirable? Many of us keep these jobs so as to not become the taker. Yet, we’re still seen as “takers” due to this opinion, that you so callously spout. I am a decent person, who used to love the service industry. I used to be respected for simply being a hardworking person. Are you the very special person to take this away? I take no government support. I work for a living. As menial as you may see it, it is actually a job. So, please, respect the working people. We deserve it.
March 4th, 2013 at 9:49 pm
By the way Mr. Smith obviously it wasn’t funny. It was hurtful and mean and you just told everyone who cant see through your humor that it’s okay to treat their server badly for doing their job.
March 4th, 2013 at 10:14 pm
This has possibly gotten outta control but I feel the urge to chime in nonetheless. Boy do I like drama! The thing is Kyle, you make some valid points. Waiters are annoying! I was one all throughout college and then some. In order to make great money waiting tables, I had to take a job at a Keith McNally restaurant where we got drilled and micromanaged and told constantly to do all those annoying things you hate. I swear–I’m not actually someone who wants to hover over you while you eat and talk to you non-stop about crap that I could care less about it, but alas it was a condition of my job. So I did it, and it put me through school. And gee was that worth it. I hear you the French waiter versus the American waiter but then again we are in America aren’t we? Do you suggest that we start changing our ways to match French ways so that you can feel more comfortable eating out in New York? I certainly hope not.
March 4th, 2013 at 10:22 pm
Sophomoric attention whore.
March 4th, 2013 at 10:48 pm
You’re a hot mess.
March 4th, 2013 at 10:50 pm
“There’s little point in writing if you can’t annoy somebody.”- Kingsley Amis Ah. So that’s your excuse. Bravo! You did it! You annoyed people! Next time you try being a satirical writer, it might behoove you to think about the people behind the faces you are satirizing. Waiters are real people trying to pay real bills, juggling the requirements of their superiors with those of their customers. Most take the job very seriously, and aren’t particularly welcoming to so-called critics who simply want to be noticed at their expense. Big article in the Post. Big deal. That’s one paper I’ll be avoiding for a long while. Thanks for that, anyway.
March 4th, 2013 at 11:06 pm
A wise man once told me “a wonderful judge of a person’s character is how they treat a waiter”… It seems very silly to me that with all of the interesting articles you COULD have written, you chose to write something as trivial and demeaning as this.
I hope you start some serious character building exercises and dig a little bit deeper for an op-ed next time around…
March 4th, 2013 at 11:52 pm
You’re a cute fan boy Zach, but if anyone here is an “outrage lover”, it’s Kyle Smith for writing this piece of garbage. Afterall, “There’s little point in writing if you can’t annoy somebody.” right?
March 5th, 2013 at 2:12 am
Seriously?
Just a comic rant- don’t worry I tip double tax. I’m assuming you know what an appropriate tip is, but you’re just too cheap and annoying to tip on your 28 dollar trout?
No one else will ever serve you so you best enjoy your superiority to waitresses while you can.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:27 am
Maybe with your momentary fame you can afford a redesign of your blog by a waiter with the additional benefit of the ability to see.
Or, you know, you could just fall into the forgotten pit that you crawled out from and maintain your comb-over for another three years.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:27 am
Lets get this straight, you graduated from Yale, but you’re a movie critic who writes blog style material and tries to pass it off as an article? You must spend a lot of time alone? Perhaps you should reevaluate the actual amount of effort your job entitles…
March 5th, 2013 at 2:30 am
“It was only a joke..”
The last line of defence for those who have realised they have shoved their foot in their mouth.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:07 am
The point is not how much you tip, dear Kyle. There will be plenty of customers with a clue that will come along and make up for your purported 11% tip (nice backpedalling by the way). The problem is that your piece is a failure; shocking, witty, and funny it was not. You’ve done nothing but manage to insult an entire industry of people whose sole purpose is to grovel toward your every need to make sure their bills are paid.
An UK people, what is with you? Every time I happen to scroll by a conversation on tipping, there is always a handful of UK people up in arms about how greedy Americans are for wanting more than a 10% tip, because a tip is just extra. Things are different in the U.S. In NYC the hourly pay rate for a waiter is $5. Here in CT it is $5.62, and when I used to serve in RI it was $2.89. The tips we receive literally are our wages, please spread the word to your friends across the pond so I don’t have to witness yet another Brit spew this ignorant indignance in yet another comments section.
Good luck in your career Mr. Smith, I’d work on your execution and analysis a little more. And I propose a challenge to you: wait tables for a month, and then write about your experience. I bet you’d report back with something more genuine, thought-provoking, and humorous than this. You can do better than this satirical failure, right?
March 5th, 2013 at 3:24 am
I wouldn’t be so horrified if your column was even mildly funny. Instead, you chose to insult one of the largest pools of employees in our city in a trite and condescending manner. I’ve never read your column; I’ve never even heard of you. Luckily, I’ll never read your column again, because I don’t read the Post. I read real newspapers, not sensationalist rags. Have fun in France, where your lack of wit will serve you well. I’m glad you got your 15 seconds of fame and gave all of your “servants” something to talk about. They’re all probably working on their actual talents, while this is the culmination of your fame. Enjoy it, because the only way you’ll get attention is by purposely offending people. It’s a very low sense of humor and I’m glad you won’t be remembered for it. This is your blip on the radar.
March 5th, 2013 at 7:01 am
For a ‘capitalist’, you don’t understand anything about economics. You are a pissy, trite little human being of the lowest order. The only funny thing about sycophants like you, is that you actually think the world is owed your sophomoric, negative view of things.
March 5th, 2013 at 9:17 am
I don’t usually comment on things like this. I don’t proclaim to be a writer, or a waitress.
You have attracted so much attention with your negative article. I wonder if that’s what you intended to do. You may say now that your article was to give people insight, but question is “to what?” Your report is just full of comments that make me think you are just making them to try to get your 15 minutes of fame, trying to make people angry, so you can get the attention. I see so many prople doing stupid stuff to try to get attention. Didn’t we all grow out of this as a child?? Why is it coming back?? Self proclaimed writers making reports such as this, actors and actresses doing things publicly that should be done in private, individuals doing things that get picked up by the news media so they can be famous. It doesn’t make sense. Why not use your profession to inspire people, to encourage, not to beat down? Why is it that you try to write things to make people lash out? That is what you did with this report. Surely you knew that when you were writing your article.
Why do you quote Kingsley Amis? “There’s little point in writing if you can’t annoy somebody.” This is your mantra?? Instead of inspiring people, you are going to try to make them angry, vengeful, and hate-filled. Why not try to find a better use of your time, not to inspire riot in a time of depression, but to encourage people, to make the best of a bad situation. By the way, Kingley Amis was a prejudice drunck who died a lonely man being cared for by his ex-wife. She only took him in because his sons asked her. I think you need a better role model.
March 5th, 2013 at 10:26 am
My goodness, these guys are foaming at the mouth. Here’s hoping they wipe away the spittle before their shifts.
March 5th, 2013 at 10:38 am
What annoys me the most about waiters are the ones who attempt to memorize the order in an attempt to impress. If you want to impress me, chuckles, try not being a waiter for a living.
March 5th, 2013 at 10:48 am
Good. I am so glad to see all of the good people chiming in here to give you the flaying you deserve.
March 5th, 2013 at 10:53 am
Hilarious. Now this was a joke. Backtracking little pansy. Oh and to all of you commenters that say 15 percent or 10 is okay… service industry min wage federally is <3 an hour. Tips is where we make it. It’s how it is.
March 5th, 2013 at 11:47 am
don’t be upset waitstaff
mr smith doesn’t believe a word he writes
all a good show
he’s usually a liberal trying real hard to sound like a conservative(tm)
cant quite manage it though
March 5th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
Oh and to all of you commenters that say 15 percent or 10 is okay… service industry min wage federally is <3 an hour. Tips is where we make it. It’s how it is.
Well, then, maybe we should give 50%, or even 75%. So far as I’m concerned, 15% is the traditional number, and that’s what I aim for.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Nobody tips in Spain, either, but the waiters are happy, as they have few New York waiters dining there, moaning about tips.
March 5th, 2013 at 1:02 pm
I refuse to pay extra for crap service. If the waiter is rude, surly and insubordinate (like many of the bitter waiters on this thread) he or she will be tipped accordingly. Don’t blame the customer if you get the tip you deserve.
March 5th, 2013 at 1:10 pm
Hunter Tremayne - We memorize the order in these situations for one of two reasons: Either to expediate the process, because we are busy, or because we are instructed to by our superiors. No one is trying to impress anyone. Least of all you.
March 5th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Hunter Tremayne - I remember the orders because I can, it’s not to impress.
March 5th, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Oh come on you coward. Don’t try and back down now. You know you’ve overstepped your boundaries; and in your tiny mind you think that saying “I don’t actually do this blah blah blah….” is going to help your situation. Be a man and stick to what you’ve done. Then again, I know that soon you will fade back into your largely unread reviews of movies that no one was going to watch anyway.
March 5th, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Kyle
You’ve got a blog. However, your comedic prose just really didn’t come off as such. It’s a rant…and sadly this seems to be where journalism and writing in general is headed these days. I truly miss real articles written by real journalists that take their time to inform the public of something substantial. I’m glad that you’re able to write with the cap locks on, as taught in AOL chatrooms everywhere circa 1997. That’s a true skill. I find it on Yelp as the means to a very satisfactory end to a statement. Ah, dining out in the age of the food, film and music critic…it’s a damn shame I tell you. Being “over served” by friendly folks..that really chaps my ass. Is this what the world is coming to? Space on the newsfeed for articles that insinuate that the average American hates kindness and would rather be left alone to their devices (iPhone, tablet, etc…). Here-in lies the problem. And, Kyle, you’re exemplary tales of dining out in a real big city lack depth. However, it’s not as though you’re a writer to do any good anyhow. You’re a critic to gain attention and in writing a scathing little number you’ve done just that. Any attention is better than none at all I suppose.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:45 pm
How do we get more clicks on NYPost.com???? Oh I know, insult waiters!! Good tactic, Kyle!
March 5th, 2013 at 2:46 pm
A response from a colleague: http://blog.nickmay.ca/server-%e2%89%a0-servant/
March 5th, 2013 at 2:59 pm
You are an awful person. Not funny. I’ll never read anything you write again.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:22 pm
NOT comical. HUGELY disrespectful. I get a kick out of calling out people like you: celebrities, journalists, politicians, clergy… You have an added responsibility, as someone with a demographic of people that follow your POV, to act and represent yourself as a decent person. You ignorantly degraded a huge number of hard-working service industry employees and the right thing to do now would be to APOLOGIZE.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:29 pm
Kyle, I realize that the 11% comment was a meant as a rhetoriclal flourish to put the finishing touches on your venomous screed.
However, to me it is the “servant” comment that is most indicative of your true sentiments about the folks that work in the food service industry. Sadly, you are not alone. You and legions of other diners think that an underground caste system is at play where the patron poses as Brahmin and the restaurant staff are “Untouchables” by virtue of the fact that they are engaged in the service of feeding others for profit. Waiters are on the front lines and bare the brunt of this condescension nightly.
Having, said that It is my observation that Waiters are the greediest cabal in the food service industry. Yes,we all know that you live off of your tips and you work hard, but no harder than than the busboys and runners that make you look good nightly and certainly not harder than the Line Cooks that basically pass through trial by fire with each dinner service. Waiters at Manhattan’s high end eateries often make more than the floor managers and many chefs, and probably make more than 3 times the salary of the average line cook, which has the harder job. Yet the mere mention of tip pooling throws them into a state of self immolation and garment rending the likes you have never seen since the clerics of antiquity. As a matter of fact FOH staff, their lawyers and NYC politicians have seen to it that the Dishwasher and Line Cook will never even get a whiff of what they pull down nightly unless the restaurant solely is set up to run a counter service.
The fact remains that even if the City Council passed a law tomorrow that the tipped employee scale be increased to $9.00 per hour, all the Waiters will be running to the barricades to ensure that the rest of the restaurant hourlies could not muscle in on the 75 to 80K that they have the potential to earn at Babbo, Momofuku, and Per Se.
Kyle Smith deserves all the consternation that people can muster on this thread, but there is way too much melodrama coming from them in regard to their workload and their level of compensation. Oh by the way Kyle just “pony up” the 20% min for good service that is the standard tipping protocol. By your method the waiter’s compensation is an evolving standard and totally at the mercy of the state politicians taxing power and each state’s tax rate. 20% of check is a fair minimum standard for good service. You can round up from this point.
March 5th, 2013 at 5:22 pm
you are the best example of the worst kind of human being.
March 5th, 2013 at 5:24 pm
Nice try to get out of this one. You deserve what you get. Should probably get used to eating at home.
March 5th, 2013 at 5:43 pm
Brilliant satire, Kyle. You beautifully illustrated the portrait of an entitled, pompous, nouveau riche manchild whose desperate need for superiority cripples his ability to function as a decent human of society. I can practically feel this character’s tiny erection as it presses into my leg, uninvited, at a club. I can hear him comment loudly on how much he paid for the bottle of wine he’s brought to a friend-of-a-friend’s super bowl party. I see his head gently bob as he cries into a wad of toilet paper while he takes a drunken shame-poo in the women’s restroom of a Taco Bell at 3:20 AM on a Thursday. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
March 5th, 2013 at 9:15 pm
“I was only joking” - the timeless excuse for bullies everywhere since the beginning of time.
March 6th, 2013 at 3:26 am
I don’t live anywhere near NYC and I’m just a regular married middle-class kind of guy. So, yeah, given the same cooks, ingredients, and price, if I had a choice between waitstaff or ordering at a counter and picking up my food (”#57!”), I’d choose the counter service _every time_. i.e., give me good food with the fast food service model. Hardly exists, I know. But I wish. I detest chit chat (and suck the life out of parties), but waitstaff don’t cut me that slack; they still expect from me the same as anyone else. Kudos to you for your honesty.
March 6th, 2013 at 6:01 am
Yeahhh, it’s not funny though, so you’ve failed as a comedian.
Just like you judge waiters for being friendly (you know, that thing that is required of them to remain employed) I judge comedians who joke at the expense of those who are down and out. That’s called bullying, not satire.
March 6th, 2013 at 8:27 am
The waiters who spread their venom above do not deserve to receive any kind of a gratuity. Remember you are servants and that the customer is always right.
March 6th, 2013 at 8:42 am
YES! Finally we have found him! The new Jonathan Swift! This will go down in history as the next “Modest Proposal” because of your brilliant satire. You are the best of the best, Kyle Smith, and you are the writer we’ve been waiting for! You had a clear view that everyone understood and you stuck by your guns…whoops.
March 6th, 2013 at 9:35 am
I’m sure you were writing this with the assumption that ‘all press is good press.’…Well, congratulations on lengthening your wikipedia entry. How do think it will read?
March 6th, 2013 at 9:36 am
I have a great idea for you. Go home, and order in. If you don’t want a waiter to try to earn their tip and be pleasant then don’t go out. You’re just being a jerk. And if you think you’re ‘Drama Kids’ reference is funny it’s not. Just goes to show you were probably a preppy/jock douche.
March 6th, 2013 at 10:50 am
Hi Kyle im french and i find your article very funny, its like you believe you are french and you are a typical cliché of the ignorant american who had spend some time in Paris and behaves like the arrogant Parisian… uh-uh but you are American.
I had the chance to met wonderful americans whom i admire a lot so please stop burning the american flag by your typical ignorant tag, i think you are also a film critic ( blockbuster films probably) But by reading your article i would say you didnt have anything to write about so you wrote about servers that are too nice. Coming from a journalist family my best advice to you is that is never too late to chance careers! Au revoir!
March 6th, 2013 at 11:17 am
Muriel: Are you this incoherent in French too?
March 6th, 2013 at 11:58 am
Kishke: Are you Kyles alter ego? or Kyles servant???
And yes i could be incoherent too im french! ????
March 6th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
Muriel: If by servant you mean waiter, the answer is no.
March 6th, 2013 at 2:26 pm
Kill yourself kyle
March 7th, 2013 at 12:36 am
Kishke: I mean SERVANT
March 7th, 2013 at 12:44 am
I would never call servant to a waiter, and someone who does that is pathetic to me.
March 7th, 2013 at 1:04 pm
Your article about waiting is really ignorant. You should Really Try to be a waiter, that would give you some different perspective. I really hope I don’t encounter you where i wait tables in NYC.
March 7th, 2013 at 1:44 pm
It’s a bad idea to get into it with waiters. They have too much time on their hands and too little to do.
March 7th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
Are you really comparing your writing to fantastically acerbic and intelligently witty Kingsley Amis? The idea that you even come close to his level of funny is much more amusing than your little ‘rant’.
March 7th, 2013 at 5:09 pm
you are a sad person. i find it unfortunate that you live amongst us. spewing negativity and sparking controversy for your own amusement on the backs of hard working people. shame on you. i hope you get fired. i KNOW you are no longer welcome in any restaurant in the city. i would tell you to grow up but as you’ve demonstrated there is a very slim possibility of that.
March 7th, 2013 at 5:56 pm
Amanda, I didn’t know that quoting someone became comparing yourself to them. I’ve quoted Mark Twain. Thusly, according to your logic, I think I am Mark Twain.
March 8th, 2013 at 10:53 am
Zach, I didn’t know that comparing yourself to someone means you think that you are that someone. But according to your logic …
March 8th, 2013 at 11:35 am
The King would have had even less patience with Jason than I, though.
March 8th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
I used a metaphor instead of a simile for emphatic effect.
March 10th, 2013 at 11:38 am
intelligently witty Kingsley Amis
Can someone be unintelligently witty? I should think not, but I applaud Amanda for giving it a try.
March 11th, 2013 at 10:37 pm
Nice article. Nice to poke fun at other people and their careers/side jobs. I’m surprised anyone even read your article. It was in the Post, right? What’s that? Must only be popular in NY, unlike The Times.
Oh wait, I just did what you did. Shame on me.