About Me

Kyle Smith (Twitter: @rkylesmith) is critic-at-large for National Review, theater critic for The New Criterion and the author of the novels Love Monkey and A Christmas Caroline. Type a title in the box above to locate a review.

Buy Love Monkey for $4! "Hilarious"--Maslin, NY Times. "Exceedingly readable and wickedly funny romantic comedy"--S.F. Chronicle. "Loud and brash, a helluva lot of fun"--Entertainment Weekly. "Engaging romp, laugh-out-loud funny"-CNN. "Shrewd, self-deprecating, oh-so-witty. Smith's ruthless humor knows no bounds"--NPR

Buy A Christmas Caroline for $10! "for those who prefer their sentimentality seasoned with a dash of cynical wit. A quick, enjoyable read...straight out of Devil Wears Prada"--The Wall Street Journal

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    Hate Mail from Waiters

    By Kyle | March 4, 2013

    My Sunday column has activated the hate sensors of the “service industry.” A sampling of this morning’s hate mail:

    YOU were the abortion I was supposed to go through with that summer! I had a hunch you would grow up to be a half-assed sensationalist for the Post, and not a real human being with standards and a sense of decency. F**k. Please tell me more about your trip to France and how much your trout costs.
    PS Thank you for being the only grown up in NYC who has the guts to tackle high school theater jokes. You make me so proud, little man.

    I work hard every night serving you douche. Go f–k yourself you sanctamonious nazi. Kill yourself and do us all a favor.

    Subject line: F*****************k Yoooooooooooou!
    Wow, you are the most pretentious a**hole ever brought to my attention! You had better learn to cook, because you are no longer welcome in any restaurant, anywhere. You probably would’ve owned a bunch of slaves in the old south, just to beat for fun. You are disgusting, congratulations!

    Dear Kyle,
    You are one of the worst writers allowed to deliver content to the world. The level of d**kishness you display in your pointless dribble is unparalleled. Though you are obviously not widely read, I am surprised NY Post’s sub-subpar online opinion section (the place inadequate, self-inflated a**holes go to rot and die) allows you to take up any bandwidth whatsoever.
    Here is a tip for you: if you don’t like the attempts-at-pleasantry service staff are compelled to make by their owners, don’t eat out. Not, at least, at the lower-rent yet somewhat trendy places your pathetic pay check affords you. You see, Kyle, in fine dining establishments, the staff is better trained. There is a McDonald’s near your apartment. Trust me, their service is nearly silent! Except, of course, for that single question they famously ask about whether or not you would like fries.
    The thesis of this article was “I am a f**king a**hole!” Please come up with something less self-centered in the unfortunate event there is a next time.
    Sarah Jane

    Wow, Kyle, you fit right in with the other Post writers: a whiny little bitch who’s never done a real day’s work but loves to complain about having to enjoy the perks of reporting. Boo-hoo:( Why don’t you just eat at McDonald’s and save your employers your salary and the wasted newsprint? You’re well on your way to being an OpEd guy for the Post, congrats!

    To whom it may concern,
    First and foremost, I am an artist, not your servant. I, and what seems like a million other actors, singers, dancers, et cetera, moved to New York City not to be your slave for 90 minutes, but to pursue a bigger goal. People like me tend to flock to restaurant jobs because the hours are more flexible than an office or even a retail job, and the money per hour is enough to pay expensive New York rent when people like Kyle Smith aren’t leaving 11%.
    I haven’t been that offended by an article in awhile. In this day and age, anyone to think of anyone as a servant is just cruel. I for one, am not your servant. In fact, I AM a bit of a “Master of Ceremonies,” as Mr. Smith put it. I am there to make sure that your experience at my restaurant is exactly to your liking, so much so that you will come back time and again. The thing about serving in a New York restaurant, particularly in the midtown area, is that people want the show. Many midtown patrons don’t speak English, and need help and guidance. Some tourists even want to get to know you personally, as they’re not doing a lot of talking to locals. True, not everyone wants this kind of personal service, and most servers should know to cater their spiel to the vibe they’re getting from the guest, but the other thing is that we work for tips. If tips are based on percentage of the bill and how good the service was, we want to make sure you’re smiling. That usually means we have to be friendly and make sure everything is okay. If you don’t want that kind of service, maybe say something at the beginning of your meal, “Hi Jason, I’m sure you’re sweet, but I’ll make it easy for you and tell you that if I need something, I’ll let you know.” This way Mr. Smith is getting the service he wants without ruining Jason’s night with an 11% tip.
    I’m sure Mr. Smith thinks he’s being cute by saying he will leave 11% to the “creepy ex-darlings from their high school theater departments,” but that’s actually a problem. As this article made it abundantly clear that Mr. Smith has never worked in a restaurant, let me tell you what happens with your tip. Waiters in New York City earn $5/hour base pay. Now, when you leave a 20% tip, I still have to tip out (meaning pay off) the busser, sometimes the bartender or barista, and sometimes a food runner. Depending on the restaurant, this usually means that I’m making 16% off of the 20% you graciously gave me. If you give me an abhorrent 11%, that means I’m actually only making about 7%. Servers NEVER make the entire amount of money you leave them for their meal.
    And so you know, we “preening scamps” are pretty miserable while serving you. Some are better at being genuine while working, but we’d all rather be somewhere else. Serving takes a toll on the body, I know that’s why I squat while I tell you the specials because my lower back is in so much pain from being your servant all day every day, I need a break. God forbid I have to go to the bathroom during a lunch rush if Kyle Smith needs his latte and needs it NOW. We don’t eat, relieve ourselves, or get breaks during our very long shifts, all because if you need something and have to wait more than 30 seconds to tell us, our tip suffers, or you’ll tell our manager that service was slow and we’ll get FIRED.
    Lastly, do not belittle my job prospects, as while they’re unconventional, they are real goals for real jobs. I could get on my sassy horse too and say that I could blog for the New York Post, as I have a computer and opinions, and I could get much worse than that. I won’t because to my core, I am a nice person, and I won’t attempt to ruin Kyle Smith’s day with frivolous insults. I’ll leave that to Kyle. If he likes the service in France, he should probably move there. It’s a completely different way of living. If he’s going to live in New York, however, he should probably get off his obnoxious sassy horse, learn to deal with artists being his servers, learn some compassion, and start leaving 20% like a real man.

    Mr. Smith You have
    What is known as the big “bitter”going on. Forward don’t go out to restaurants cook your meals relax go to a family owned place that is not pretentious find a nice small café where u are not hounded ,people are sincere . Petition Congress to apply the minimum-wage living wage to waiters and servers so they do not have to work for tips .You come across looking pampas arrogant And spoiled. And yes I am an-actor who bar tends who manages who has waited on tables . And many times the course and execution of these servers is directed from above from the owners on down….or if all else fail pretend you are deaf and write a note stating you would like to eat without being disturbed and you suffer from irritable vowel syndrome and must eat and chew each bite 10-15 times do you may be At this table for a while.. Believe it or not fit every over zealous server there are 100s of patrons who are manner less and obviously raised by Neanderthals and in breads with the class as tact of a smug arrogant pig …

    Your a servant so serve…..u probably hate the fact that slavery was abolshed too….that sounds ugly n find better subjects…Weak artic

    You are rude and disgusting. Keep your opinions to yourself. And oh yeah being a critic is much better. Cause everyone gives a F**K what you think 🙂 we are all trying to earn a living. Stop the hate and just be nice.

    I have been a long term reader of the NYPOST but no longer. Your article “You got served!” is quite possibly the most demeaning piece of garbage i have read in a long time. Clearly you have never been in the hospitality industry and from the way you write i’m sure you couldn’t even handle it. I am back to being as you referred to it as “a servant” due to the lousy economy and my sales job was downsized. I am an excellent server, note not a servant,,,Lincoln freed the slaves mind you. I’m 46 years old and actually enjoy meeting new people and taking care of them for the brief period of time we share together. I do not desert my guests nor am i at all annoying. I have waited on many people from all walks of life,,some during happy celebrations such as a birthday dinner and some not so happy times,,,,after funerals, after what i can tell was just an awful bad day. I take pride in what i do and don’t need condescending jerks like yourself putting us down and being a patronizing moron. I take the order, i bring the drinks, i deliver your meal. I clean up after you sloppy kids and your careless manners. I have been yelled at and treated like less than a person from someone im assuming is pretty much just like you. I have an idea,,,how about you do all of us in the Restaurant business a favor and don’t eat out. Better yet stay home and cook, which you probably can’t do anyway or stick to fast food joints that neanderthals like you frequent. I don’t hold my guests hostage and i don’t constantly ask them how is everything every two minutes. When you “camp out” at my table which you seem to think is your god given right you take away my earning potential to get another table after you or perhaps even two and make money to pay my bills. You do not have the right to sit at a table forever and leave a crappy tip just because you graced us with your presence. You saying you tip 11% is absolutely disgusting. Stay home and do us all a favor,,,its people like you that make the business horrible. Shame on you.

    you’re a laughable d**k. who says this kind of s**t? have you heard of insight and perspective? try getting some. i’ve never been a waiter but thats a very hard job. you suck, your writing is deplorable and i’m sure the west coast feels the same as the east coast does about you.

    The way you speak about “waitrons” is disgusting, offensive, tasteless. This is some “let them eat cake” type of disgusting piece of s**t you wrote.

    This was an incredibly offensive article. While I’m not going to waste my time explaining to you how ignorant you are, I’m assuming there will be PLENTY of other people who will.

    Topics: New York City | 191 Comments »

    191 Responses to “Hate Mail from Waiters”

    1. TheBitchyWaiter Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 1:13 pm

      I do not like the tone of your article. We have to be nice since we are dependent on tips. Would you tip us more if we were rude and ignored you? I doubt it.

    2. Allie Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 1:24 pm

      P.S. You are a giant a**hole. That is all.

    3. Kim Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 1:35 pm

      This is about the level of education I would expect from someone who works at the Post. News flash: Your lowly server makes double your income. As someone who lives and dines in Manhattan, I can say the service you describe leads me to believe you’ve been spending too much time at Applebee’s in Times Square. I suppose that must be all you can afford… I mean, you work for the freaking POST. How embarrassing for you.

    4. bethany Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 1:41 pm

      I hope you f***ng choke on that last $9 worth of salmon, you f**k!

    5. Lauren M Romein Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 1:52 pm

      Kyle Smith,
      You really bring being a douchebag to a whole new level. I genuinely hope this article was written out of some shameless motivation for self-promotion as an attempt to whore out 15 minutes of fame for yourself as a mediocre writer by inciting insult and shock to a large portion of the work force. If this is how you genuinely view and treat the people who you come in contact with on a daily basis then I feel very very sorry for you because you are obviously a sad little miserable man suffering from an inferiority complex that makes you feel the need to lash out at put down people who are in a paid position that part of their job is to be friendly and attentive to you. I hope karma is swift for you, and judging by your crappy writing there may be an article in 2014 about an annoying, shameless waiter named Kyle who is an aspiring writer… and written by the next pathetic weasle NY post writer who thinks he is above the profession.

    6. Jake Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 1:53 pm

      I understand people don’t go out to dinner to become friends with there server. However, if we just did the bare minimum and did not check back on your meal, and were rude to you, we would not get a tip. As a server, my $2.83 wage does not get me far, so I rely on hospitality and giving guest a great experience to assure I make a my 20% tip.
      If you ever been a worked off a tipped position your comments would be a lot different. Instead it comes across as being ignorant.
      Shame on you!

    7. Em Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 1:56 pm

      Hey, have you ever been to France? You were really vague in the column when talking about it, I couldn’t tell if you had ever been. You should totally talk more about your time in France.

    8. crystal Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 2:05 pm

      What a sad little man you are. I almost feel sorry for you….almost.

    9. Celeste Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 2:17 pm

      You are obviously unaware that restaurants require employees to do the things you dislike. You don’t know the difference between a busboy and a food runner? You are obviously clueless about the business. I don’t like telling people my name. I don’t want to chat. I do it because I have to. If I didn’t do it and I was ‘shopped’, I’d be fired. I’d rather keep my job than impress you. Disconsolate people like you will always find fault with something.

    10. Patricia S.Salazar Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 2:24 pm

      WOW!!! I really want to think you wrote this article to get some attention (apparently you’re not getting enough as a film critic). I’ve been in this industry for over 36 years and have worked in many types of restaurants and it sounds like you like to hang out at the many chain restaurants that require the staff to act the way you’re describing and if we don’t we would get fired! So, maybe if you’re so unhappy as a “film critic” you should step into our world and try it out! I can guarantee you wouldn’t last a day let alone a couple of hours because you are so not a people person which is pretty much a requirement for this industry. I would so love to serve your happy ass…or maybe I just did!

    11. David Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 2:41 pm

      As someone who served my way through undergrad, this is quite offensive to many individuals. It is obvious that this is exactly what you want in hopes of moving your way up in the world by diminishing some of your journalistic integrity by stirring up a little controversy over an opinions column. Might I add, as I have lived in France, and several other European countries, that the tip and tax are already included in the price of the meals. Or in other countries, the minimum wage for servers is provides livable standards to servers without tips. I hope a well-informed columnist like yourself does realize this. Not sure if you’re one to two weeks in France a year really engages you in French culture or not so I felt the need to share like you. Regardless, you’re making money on every hit to this “blog” and you’re accurate quote from Mr. Amis describes the blog perfectly. Hear hear!

    12. Christine C Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 2:46 pm

      How sad that your schtick is to try to annoy people. What a sad, sad little world you live in. Thanks to The Bitchy Waiter for calling out your pathetic little column.

    13. Ashlie Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 2:48 pm

      I am not offended by the 11% tip. I know there are douchebags out there like you who do this, so it isn’t surprising. What I AM offended by is the way you act like your server (the PROPER generic/gender neutral term) is your personal servant who should be happy that someone even looks him in the eye. Maybe there are some servers like that out there, but the rest of us are highly educated, successful customer service professionals that deserve the same respect as any other professional. I have been serving all through college, and love that (unlike many of my classmates) I get to make around $30,000/year while keeping a flexible schedule that allows me to have time for grad school. I also like talking to people. That’s why I chose this job. I find it mildly entertaining when I wait on people like you who think they are so far above me. Then again, I am used to dumbing down the conversation so that my customers don’t feel threatened, and I also don’t waste my time checking on tables that I know won’t tip, so I think you would love my service.

    14. Ashlie Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 2:56 pm

      ..and why is “service industry” in quotes?

    15. Kristy Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:00 pm

      Mr. Smith, your sense of entitlement is both disturbing and hateful. You clearly do not have a shred of empathy or shared humanity. What is also quite clear is that you have never once worked in the service industry. If you had, your op-ed may have been less judgmental and more mature. And yet you seem to take pride your provocativeness and the nature of response your so-called writing has invoked. I would be angry at you, but your pathetic nature leaves me feeling nothing but pity for you. What a sad life you must lead.

    16. Retro Hound Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:05 pm

      I like how the first one says, “…a real human being with standards and a sense of decency.” And immediately follows that up with, “F**k.”

    17. Marc Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:12 pm

      How do you find the time for all those blowjobs you must be getting from wearing that manly gingham button up shirt? You’re a fucking douchebag, maybe try actually sweating at the gym or men’s naked yoga or whatever it is you’ve been trying to do to come up with that pasty unhealthy look you’ve got going

    18. Krista Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:25 pm

      Read your article, and was sent here by BW. Having served for years – and now working in an office environment – it was people like you who made the job miserable. Be careful who you treat with a lack of kindness and respect.. many of these servers will have educations that far exceed yours, and put those educations to good use after graduation, and probably become your boss.

      For 11%, I wouldn’t even look you in the eye. That barely covers tip out.

    19. LLBAMF Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:32 pm

      Kyle: Maybe you were just seeking fifteen minutes of fame. However, we work very hard and your words hurt many. I work two jobs to make ends meet. I am away from my family to serve people like you. Finally, I could care less about your opinion… and your 11% tip. Another guest will pick up your slack, which I’m guessing you are use to.

    20. Kasey Renee Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:36 pm

      I would like you to know I am not a servant (they get paid a lot mire than I do.) I, along with many other servers, am a college student. I will soon have a career, much more impressive than yours at the Post, and wait tables to make the money I need to pay my bills. To think anyone dealing with the food industry could be so ignorant and rude about people doing their jobs is shocking and sad. I will be sure to tell my boss to no longer purchase the Post to share with our costumers, News Day is a much better choice for us. So, give my regards to your boss, let him know how you lost him about 200 copies a week.

    21. AB Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:43 pm

      How did your final draft get past the editor at the NYP????
      This quote was in a movie and I never forgot it: To serve people takes dignity and intelligence. But remember, they are only people with money. And although we serve them, we are not their servants. What we do, Miss Ventura, does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.
      I’m glad you posted your picture. It will not be forgotten. I think you should just stick to fast food.

    22. Nick Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:43 pm

      I get it. You’re trying to be funny. You failed miserably. It came off as discriminatory and shamelessly rude. I’m usually the first to enjoy some raw, even offensive humor, but I did not laugh once. I would stick to film criticing, hopefully you are better at that

    23. Stevie B Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:45 pm

      I hope that one day you wind up working for a server that you screwed over and I hope he or she vividly remembers your atrocious attitude.

    24. Steve Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:48 pm

      Sounds like, to me, that you do most of your dining alone where there is no loved ones in sight to actually ask you “how everything is.” You seem to be lacking fundamental social skills that would allow your brain to process a server simply asking you “is everything ok?” and understand that there is nothing wrong with that question. And there is no need to make yourself look like a complete jack a** by writing such an unbelievably offensive article for everyone to read. Get a life, sir. You Obviously need one. By the way, is everything ok?

    25. kishke Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:49 pm

      Enjoy the mucus mixed in with your fine dining!

      More waiterly threats. As if an unkind comment gives them the right to ruin your food. The dark heart of waiterdom has been exposed!

    26. Union Jack Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:50 pm

      mr or mrs llbamf

      dont worry

      ‘serve people like you’—

      mr smith is a prole too

      prolly makes less dough than you

      sucks up to his paymaster too

      projection as sigmund called it

    27. Obama bin Biden Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:53 pm

      Kyle, you seem to have hit a nerve with Obama’s base.

    28. CrystalStar Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 3:53 pm

      If this man only knew what goes on in our heads when we serve the likes of him. Here’s the thing, we grin and bear it. We keep our feelings to our self and regardless of the customer’s behavior put our best foot foward. Why? It’s our job. The same as it is apparently your job to write this sanctimonious dribble. What ever works for you, however please keep this in mind- Though it is our job to tollerate the ignorant masses we are in fact human and there comes a point where we will only take so much. There is a line between server and servant . A servant I am not nor will I ever be. As a server with free will I choose not to serve YOU. Good luck trying to go out for a meal. We have your image saved in our cellular phones and posted on our resturant walls but who knows, you may find a spot willing to STILL serve you . Just do your self a favor and avoid the special sauce.


      I wouldn’t be so fast to nock the servers who are also involved in theater or film. It’s their craft that’s helping them pretend to care about your dining experience and keep from spitting in your face.

    29. Behla Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 4:01 pm

      I wish there weren’t so many expletive laden responses, it lowers the tone and subsequently, doesn’t really help the cause of those of us who really care about our jobs. I know that you think this is just a fun bit of social humor but your gross generalizations about waitstaff are misguided. Sure there are some who fit the bill you described but the majority of us actually care about what we do, how we are perceived and that we do a great job for every customer regardless of how we are tipped or treated. I may be a “servant” but I have more class than you. Thanks Bitchy Waiter.

    30. Alex Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 4:05 pm

      I’m not a waiter and I’ve never had a service job. But waiters act cheery because a) with most patrons, they get a better tip that way, and b) they are very likely required to do it by their boss, and c) their pay is simply not enough to support them unless they also get decent tips.

      If you don’t like cheerful waiters, avoid places that have them, they aren’t that hard to find. Don’t tell your readers to give paltry tips.

      (And if you like that French waiters are don’t pester you and don’t need much tipping, then I suggest you only dine out when you are *there*. I’m not saying that because I have anything against France; one nice thing about France is that waiters are paid enough that they can get by without tips. That isn’t the case in the USA).

    31. Jim Brooks Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 4:08 pm

      To attack a group of workers for doing their job, which you don’t seem to understand, is despicable. I am not a talented writer, so I will keep it brief. You are a disappointing example of a human being.

    32. SInman Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 4:39 pm

      They all know what you look like from “The Bitchy Waiters” post. That’s awesome. You should grow up young man. People are just trying to make a living.

    33. Michael DeFiore Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 4:50 pm


      You’re a decent writer, or perhaps your editors are just decent editors. Regardless, I don’t like you. I think a lot of people don’t like you, but kudos on scribbling a pedantic elegy about food servers (undoubtedly on a plain white napkin provided to you on your fancy night out) and using the sensational article to boost your readership and garner attention – it’s a pretty effective strategy, really.

      That having been said, if the views expressed in your commentary are really your own (which I doubt – instead I imagine them as thinly-veiled and ineffective attempts at humor), and you are truly bothered enough by the luxury of being attended to as you scarf down overpriced meals at five-star restaurants, then devote your time elsewhere. We don’t need you. We don’t want you. Don’t let the door hit you in your unburdened wallet on the way out.


      Mr. 20%

    34. Kimberly Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 4:58 pm

      Absolutely abhorrent. Shame on you Kyle Smith, but mostly shame on you, New York Post for printing such ignorant, uninformed drivel. Were you ever-so-pitifully trying to print a light-hearted piece about a certain type of server that annoys you? EPIC FAIL. EPIC.

    35. Shannon Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 5:06 pm

      Well said Mr. Smith! I am so sick of those “servants” doing their jobs! How dare they introduce themselves (as some of them are required to do)! And boy is it presumptuous of them to assume that YOU actually want to be THEIR friend! Clearly, that must be the reason they are being so nice to you! And the nerve of them checking up on you! Oh, and one more thing: I HATE it when people offer me coffee and dessert. I’d much rather not have the option. I’d probably sleep through the night and be 10 lbs. thinner by now! Kudos to you Kyle. Thank you B*tchy Waiter.

    36. Drew Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      Sir, I’m not going to curse you or criticize your writing. Perhaps you did think your article way funny, and witty. But please, as a fellow human being, understand that it was hurtful, offensive and uncalled for. You said negative things about a large portion of Americans who work very hard to earn a living (who just so happen to annoy you). Sometimes the garbage man annoys me when he wakes me up at 6 am to collect my trash. Sometimes policemen can be annoying when they give me a ticket. But I RESPECT them for what they do, and would never, even if I thought it was tongue-in-cheek, write an article demeaning them. Can you grasp what I am trying to say? Yes. BW sent me. I see you thanked him for the increased traffic. In your case, this is not a good thing. You made some very hurtful comments and the servers of this country deserve an apology. As of now there is a nationwide petition from servers across the nation to boycott the Post until such an apology is issued or, if you refuse so, for them to never publish an article by you again. Take that into consideration.

    37. Tom Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 5:50 pm

      Wow. I can’t tell if your article was an unprovoked and immature slap in the face to all the hard-working people in the service industry or just a very bad attempt at humor…or both. Maybe next you can write a funny article about how annoyed you are with single mothers or orphans or the physically disabled. It’d probably be just as funny.

    38. Nerdy Lucy Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 5:57 pm

      Meh. I’m not a server, I’ve never been a server, but even I think you deserve your steak kicked around the floor like a hockey puck.

      Enjoy every restaurant-dinner from now on. They’ll probably taste like whatever is on the bottom of the server’s shoe, just as karma dictates it should.

    39. Michelle Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 5:59 pm


      Your article is not only misguided, but it is also ignorant. You shouldn’t judge people based on their job especially if you have never done it before. Anyone can say that another persons job is easy, like yours, I mean what do you do? You just write. But there is more to it then that, things we don’t see. Deadlines, writers block, a boss breathing down your neck. It’s the same for any job, including servers. They work their asses off, and these annoying things they do, well, they need to or else they don’t get tips which they need to pay not only their bills, but to just come home with some money instead of negative money.
      Inform yourself before stating your opinion.

    40. Carly Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      You sound like the most pretentious piece of crap I’ll hopefully never have the displeasure of meeting. I am not a server, I have been in the past, but what gives you the right to belittle people like that? Do you feel better now? I usually read things like this and shake my head and move on but you have honestly made me so disgusted I just had to say something.

    41. Jane Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      I’m a server. Thanks to a Bitchy waiter blog we all know what you look like now. Good luck eating in any restaurant.

    42. Kristina Lou Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 6:18 pm

      Regardless of how you feel about the service industry, which I know can be a touchy subject for those who have not been in any type of hospitality industry before, I think that your wording, your condescending attitude, and your clear distaste for a certain group of people is offensive. I am surprised that the NY Post allowed this type of prejudice to be printed. Servers are not servants. They are people with jobs who are being told how to act and what to say. I think you owe an entire group of people an apology. Truly I do.

    43. Katie Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 6:30 pm

      I am not, nor have never been a waiter but I am offended by the tone of your article. It was unneccisarily rude, obnoxiously so, and makes me question how it was even published. I can understand the desire of a writer to cause a stir, but this article felt like you were going out of your way to make people hate you. Maybe you didn’t mean for it to come off in this pathetic and demeaning way, but in any case–try thinking about what you say before you hurt people.
      –Sent by The Bitchy Waiter

    44. Lauren Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 6:55 pm

      I cannot believe that there are people that are still that narrow minded… servers work hard, pay taxes, deal with all walks of people with a smile on their face. most of us do it while going to school (undergrad or grad school) or working multiple jobs. it is backbreaking work. we need to cater to various types of people, and need to know how to tailor our service to the specific needs of each table within moments of introducing ourselves. Yes we introduce ourselves, mostly because we dont like being yelled at with “hey” “yo” or just a wave and a finger snap. we are people. we have feelings, we work hard and you have the audacity to sit back and type that we are servants. most of us paid for our education, living expenses, children, cars etc….by waiting tables. i hope that you realize that the “article” you wrote is tasteless, classless, and above all ignorant (in the true meaning of the word) you are a prick and you should truely be ashamed of yourself.

    45. Mrs Mac Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 7:28 pm

      Oh Kyle! Shame on you. You come across as a typical NY yuppie who hasn’t been able to recover from his days of being the highschool jock who pushes the little kids around.
      Well, you’re a big boy now. You no longer are the big fish who can push people you deem beneath you around. Get over it.
      The fact is, people like friendly waiters. I know I do. So stop referencing your two-week holiday to paris from five years ago (where you just visited the tourist trap areas) and get back to your boring middle-management job.

    46. idrisbk Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 7:29 pm

      You are a ridiculous snob. SERVERS LIVE OFF OF TIPS. You, receiving $125,000 a year are pitiful if you don’t give a decent tip.

    47. Sara Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 7:57 pm

      Perhaps your next focus, should be that of the Mental Therapy industry, and how it can help you with your negative attitude, sense of entitlement, and anger issues. They, will put up with you for pay, and listen quietly. Stop harassing the servers, I am sure they hate you too.

    48. Lynn M Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 8:10 pm

      We get it…you’ve been to France. Which is soo 1997 btw. Monaco is the new France. Once Journalism is obsolete the only job you’ll be able to get is serving tables.

    49. David Anthony Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 8:21 pm

      I’ve been out of food service for 6 years now, but there’s a little something that happens to anyone who has ever worked in the food industry. They tip 20% or better. That’s because they understand it’s not an easy job. And also tends not to have benefits.

      And I had a friend of mine DIE because she didn’t get benefits and couldn’t afford her own insurance. So, spend some time waiting tables or just take our word for it. It’s no fun to make below minimum wage because someone chooses to take some uninformed moral stand on tipping.

      Also, good job cherry picking your “hate” mail. Most of the ones you didn’t pick out were pretty reasoned and appropiate.

      And by the way, you’re no Dave Barry, find a different style. And besides, Dave Barry became less funny since I became an adult, so try a different role model. I recommend Bill Bryson.

      You can still do more than just enjoy attention because you insulted people. Maybe you should turn this around and do some good instead.

      Let me know if you want to brainstorm.

    50. Kristen Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 8:35 pm

      My first reaction is to tell you what a pompous piece of crap you are and I could go on and on like all these other people are about how hard servers work. But…all I will say is that I’m serving to provide for my family and attending nursing school. I also work as a nurses aide at a major university cardiac hospital. I have never experienced patients complain about their healthcare as much as I have experienced customers complain about their food, drink and dining experience. My point is, you never know who your server is or what their story is. I could be your nurse one day. “Jason” could be your anesthesiologist during a major surgery. Karma is a bitch and it will come back to haunt you. Try being nice sometimes. I am guessing the person who will benefit most, is you.

    51. laura carter Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 8:36 pm

      excellent trolling, mr. smith. your tiny little black heart must be throbbing with joy at all the attention you are receiving regarding your ridiculously inflammatory column. it’s just too bad your mediocre writing isn’t as good as your trolling; a good writer would have offended people in a much more entertaining fashion. boring! i won’t bother remembering your name.

    52. Rebecca Cowan-Thompson Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 8:45 pm

      Cause Sir,
      There is one other person who i have ever heard say such ugly and completely off color statements, cant say her name because like bitch magic lightning your page will fill up with.praise because she too believes servers to be slaves. It is a disgusting way of making your self feel superior. Especially considering that most work for less per hour then you’re entree and it doesn’t have to give a damn if you are happy or not, but your server does. Restaurants have procedures and expectations like any other job, for safety, efficency, courtesy, you name it, and ninety percent of the crap you complained about is just that. Training and procedure, so back off. Additionally, i would remember that while france may seem let you live there, they hate you too. You live in an American city and write in an American paper and bash one of biggest industries…. patriotic personality, i think not. Pray nobody drops the name i mentioned or you will see first hand how crazy people like you really

    53. Rebecca Cowan-Thompson Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 8:45 pm

      Are first hand

    54. Saucier Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 8:57 pm

      Kyle Smith can’t cook. Kyle Smith. What an original name. Good luck, Yale douche!
      the Cook

    55. Ellie Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 9:19 pm

      I love that everyone hates you. you have no friends here. By being as terrible and negative as you are… I bet you live your entire life in misery. You didnt only piss off the waiters here, but the chefs and bartenders too. we all hate you. I promise.

    56. Rebecca Cowan-Thompson Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 9:35 pm

      Compliments of a bitchywaiter reader

    57. KyleWho? Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 9:41 pm

      If you’re going to repost hate mail you should also have some sort of witty retort or counterpoint.

      This is assuming of course, you’re not a hack with a Napoleon complex.

    58. Keith Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 9:58 pm

      It’s people like you who give us hard working, good looking, intelligent, personable fingers bad rep. Way to go scumb*g f*ck.

    59. Keith Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 10:00 pm

      It’s people like you who give us hard working, good looking, personable gingers* , a bad rep.way to go sc*Mbag f*ck!!

    60. Mike Lupica Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 10:31 pm

      I am more tolerable than you.

    61. Stan copacks Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 10:33 pm

      Well pretty much everything I want to say has been said but f..k you anyway.

    62. mike jones Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 10:39 pm

      Everyone in this country should work as a server for 1 year of their life…if not a server, some front line CSR position…minimum wage at that. It teaches you things, like how to be kind to your fellow human — something you obviously haven’t learned from your current line of work. I hope karma and the world treat you well, Mr Smith, because you have pissed off (and shown your picture no less) to servers all over your city, and the nation and world. In other words, you will probably never have a good dining experience again…in fact, I hope your NEXT experience … well, I’ll be nice, unlike you.

    63. Izzy Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 10:53 pm

      You praise the French waiting system so highly, but you said it yourself. They don’t work for tips, but here in the grand old country of America – we do. Maybe it’s a broken system, maybe it’s not. My advice to you is stop eating out or move to France, ya dickweed. No waiter here will ever miss spitting in your food.

    64. Scott Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 11:41 pm

      You pretentious little prig. You’re not even worth expending the finger energy required for a comment here. Oh well, I already expended the energy… One day, you will grow up and (maybe) come to the self awareness of what an insufferable blowhard you were in your youth. I hope this elicits in you the appropriate degree of embarrassment.

    65. Sadly offended Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 11:50 pm

      This is so mean and rude. I am pretty sure you are one of those people that everyone hopes they never have to deal with ever in the service industry. I am not just talking about restaurant staff, I mean anyone that works anywhere and has to deal with you… ever. You’re such a pretentious ahole.

    66. Amber Says:
      March 4th, 2013 at 11:53 pm

      Mr. Smith~

      Let’s be honest, there are a lot of unpleasant jobs in this world that someone has to work. In order for people to have leisure time and enjoy themselves someone has to be working to make that possible. We servers are more than just “servants,” we are here to help assist our guests in any way possible to put them at ease and enjoy their time. It is a true art to be good in hospitality and not everyone is meant to be in this industry.

      Clearly you are not a foody or lover of dining or you would probably appreciate the effort and time waitstaff put into ensuring that people are satisfied with their experience. The tipping system is set up this way in America because if our employers were to pay us to serve you our food and beverage costs would skyrocket and you would have to pay double than what you are already paying for a meal. This way you get the option to leave what you feel is deserved and the employer can keep costs down and prices reasonable.

      Some people love to dine and be waited on and taken care of and they appreciate people who know how to really cater to people’s needs. It is an art and carries through to other professions as well. If you do not enjoy going out then maybe you just shouldn’t and leave room for the people who really want to be there. Believe me there’s plenty that do, and they are willing to show their gratitude by leaving more than 11 percent.

      Annoyed in Chicago

    67. Wanted Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 12:07 am

      Mr Smith,

      Why is the term “service industry” in quotations? Clearly, you have made a typo! I think you meant to put “Servant industry”, since that is clearly all we are to you! Modern day, servants! And if, perhaps, what I said is to nice for you (something you obviously hate people to be, as you clearly demonstrated in your overly pretentious and unwarranted article), I’m calling you a jack-ass! So, unless you have a valid reason to tip a server 11% (and being too “nice”, isn’t a valid reason), I suggest you steer clear of restaurants for a long time!

    68. Chris Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 12:26 am

      Did you write the “THIS MAN IS ABOUT TO DIE” subway headline too?

    69. you're quite entitled Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 12:41 am

      Don’t be a jerk, there is no point to what you said other than your appearance of being a complete ass. Respect others, and live to your fullest potential. Don’t be malicious, it’s no way to live.

    70. tobie Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 12:49 am

      I apologize on the behalf of my colleages for some of the profane knee jerk reactions to your post. While the first few that you listed are liberally peppered with profanity and threats, most of these comments are not actually “hate mail.” Many of the responses to your post are articulate and should serve to educate you and your fan base (see how I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt?) about working in the service industry. All of my points have already been made, with one exception. You did not invent the term “waitron.” You don’t deserve credit for that. That’s from Anthony Bourdain’s book Kitchen Confidential, and it has nothing to do with gender. “Server” is the correct term for you to use as a patron. But since you have no clue about the restaurant industry, I wouldn’t expect you to know that. Just as I wouldn’t expect you to know a lot of things, since you critisize servers for smiling and checking up on you to be sure that you are enjoying your meal. I just can’t tell you how sorry I am that I am paying attention and care about my guest’s experience. I should be fired.

    71. Mark Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 1:27 am

      And to think, you caused all of this hurt and frustration. Are you proud of yourself? The world is a difficult place to live on a daily basis for so many reason for so many people. I can’t believe you would use the public outlet you have to attack a group of hard working individuals. Through all of the hateful things being said, I think what people really feel is bad for you. I know I do. It saddens me that you need to be so nasty.
      I hope that you work out whatever issues you are dealing with.
      There is little point to writing if you can’t inspire thought…should be the quote.

    72. Deanna Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 1:31 am

      It appalls me that there are still privileged little twerps like Kyle Smith allowed to write articles, for the New York Post, on things that they clearly know nothing about. Mr. Smith has clearly never worked in a restaurant and therefore has absolutely no respect or compassion for those who do. I would be more willing to accept his backwards thinking if this was supposed to be a comedic article, and despite his feeble attempts, it wasn’t.

      “You’re a servant. So serve.”

      I am not a servant Mr. Smith. I am a server, trying to make a living in one of the most expensive cities in the United States and you are going to try and degrade me for that? Just because you are out constantly dining alone and find it “annoying” that Jason is trying to do his job and make the best of it, doesn’t mean that he deserves a paltry 11 percent tip.

      If you don’t have enough money to tip, you don’t have enough money to eat at a restaurant, Mr. Smith.

    73. Stuck Serving Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 2:24 am

      I found this article to be so personally offensive to myself and all the other service industry workers out there. Our industry deserves just as much respect as any other industry, we are hard workers who take our trade just a seriously as any other job. Filth like this just adds to the negative generalizations that perpetuate ignorant people like you to continue to treat us with disrespect. Our website has a large following of industry folks who will now know exactly what you think of us…servants.

    74. Elizabeth Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 2:46 am

      I’m not sure how you can be so demeaning towards someone who is making an honest living. For every job position there is someone who has to fill it. Whether its janitor work, part time construction. Or writing for the ny post. If its legal money it’s respectful. You must be out of touch with what the rest of our western culture deems acceptable, and even pleasant, dining experiences. I wouldn’t be surprise if your article offended a lot more people then just those who have worked in the food and beverage industry. And I’m curious if your wrote this strictly for a shock factor more then it being your personal beliefs.

    75. Louise Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 3:25 am

      What makes you a better person than your waiter/server? Anyone with such vehemence for others has something out of whack in their own lives.

    76. Pollywog Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 8:44 am

      Kyle, I think you might be a wee bit jealous that the servers bring home more bacon than you. I mean that literally and figuratively. Have a wonderful day, and come back to see us soon!

    77. susan Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 9:58 am

      i have no intention of sending hate mail but i would like u to realize that these servers, generally, are paid less than $3 an hour by there employer. which is then taken in taxes, in other words, they dont get a paycheck. some of these people are putting themselves through college or have small children so the hours make it a way to take care of themselves or their families than going on welfare. i have an idea, why doesnt the new york post pay you $2.13 an hour and let people tip you on how well they think your articles are? then maybe you would change your curious, what did ur parents think of this article? when we are eating out my 12 and 7 year old like to figure out the tip. they always put in 20%. im proud of my sons that they are generous and kind. can ur mom say the same? hmmmm, maybe you should rethink your opinion or maybe try walking in someone else’s shoes. good luck to you. i sincerely hope u give this some more thought.

    78. PenthouseT Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 11:45 am

      I’m sorry you didn’t get the lead in Grease your senior year but get over it already.

    79. Penny Danielson Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 12:25 pm

      It is again sad, and pathetic, that you choose to boast and brag at the attention your article has brought you, yet in a posted response from you to one of the emails you recieved, you gave a pathetic excuse that this article was “obviously satire”, muchlike that of Louis CK . LOL, now, I know you ars indeed a lost cause. You can’t possibly be comparing yourself, or your writing, to that of Louis CK. Your article was not meant to be satire, nor was it meant to be comical. It was mean spirited, cruel, arrogant, and ignorant. You showed the true core of your lack of integrity, humanity, and morality by trying to spin in one direction or another….all for attention. Write another book. This time, “Why I will ALWAYS remain alone”. Not single, alone. You, will remain alone, because you are a vile, despicable creature. Not a man, not a person.

    80. NYC Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 12:28 pm

      Dear Kyle Smith,
      I agree with much of the well articulated responses to your article. While the establishments I’ve worked at would never compromise food quality or service purposely, the exchange between server and patron can be subtle to the outside observer, but clear as day to the people involved. I’m sure the people who have waited on you pick up on your underlying opinion and judgement of them, and respond in the most appropriate way allowed by their job description. The world of dining out in NY is all about communication both verbal and non. What you are communicating with this article is clear, as is the response.
      My hope is that this will open a conversation in your life about humanity, patience, and equality among other topics. This is a great opportunity for you to become a more compassionate, generous, gracious person.

      NYC citizen

    81. David Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 12:35 pm

      Oh how karma will come to bite you one day. I predict you will lose it all and be the one serving tables. Life has a way of teaching us lessons the hard way.

    82. Lisa Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 12:49 pm

      I am not a server, nor have I ever been one. But I will say that there is no amount of money you could pay me to serve a pretentious prick like you. “Your a servant, so serve.” Is that really how your mentality of how to treat another person who is doing their job? Oh I’m sorry you are so incorrigible that you don’t want someone to check on how the food you ordered is. Maybe, and this is just a thought, but maybe you should do the servers a favor and eat from home.Trust me, no one wants your 11% tip.

    83. Katie Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 1:01 pm

      I dare you sir, spend one Sunday slinging the two egg special to the church crowd at a greasy spoon. Marvel at the 75 cent tips you are left! Bet you couldn’t hack it the whole day. Shameful article. You should be mortified.

    84. Cristina Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 1:30 pm

      Wowzers! Sounds like some one had a case of writers diarrhea, Kyle.

      Since you are such a big boy and can figure out your way through an international airport let’s start with what’s wrong with your awkwardly uninformed take on the service you received while in France.

      Your shameful opinion on tipping in France is not only uneducated but completely irrelevant considering the fact that the law in France states that legally a 15% percent gratuity must be included in the price of your meal.

      Just so you know, your French waiters did work when they served you and got way more than the embarrassingly odd “11% tip” you left over here in the states – thanks to the “mere euro or two” you threw on the table.

      Apparently you were oblivious to such trickery. The nerve of those poor darlings putting up with you “for a week or two every year”! The thought of serving you for more than a half an hour sounds like torture to this “American waitron”.

      Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, your french waiters see you as the epitome of a foreigner who perpetuates the arrogant, self-important, ignorant American ass-hole stereotype and that’s why they treat you and your dining experience as “a simple business transaction”? I mean, I’m not crazy to assume that your manners magically appear the second your trans Atlantic flight takes off, am I?

      The most ironic and hilarious part of your “hostage drama” is the fact that you are so clearly oblivious to how normal, functioning human beings with social graces act in public settings – even in a situation as mind-bending as going to a restaurant.

      What irks me the most about your obnoxious tantrum is the fact that you are commenting on something you CLEARLY know nothing about. This kind of

      out of touch word vomit only comes from someone who has NEVER worked in the service industry a day in their life.

      Mr. Smith – See what I did there? I used
      your name. Politely. It wasn’t hard – when you go out to a restaurant you will inevitably have to interact with another human being who uses their manners while on the job. I guess no one warned you about that when you made your reservation.

    85. Mitsuda Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 1:52 pm

      Louis C.K. has a sense of humor and is a talented writer. The comparison you make is heinous. What you’ve published is a flabby, mean-spirited diatribe without rhythm or geometry. And you know it.

    86. Lauree Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 2:36 pm

      I won’t add to the plethora of hate coming your way. I agree with all my fellow servers that you’re a douche! I would like to point out that in Europe, servers don’t expect tips because THEY’RE INCLUDED IN THE CHECK! Dumba**!

    87. Justin Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 3:45 pm

      I’m not a waiter, but I found your article obnoxious. Personally, I think anyone who undertips for any reason, other than the server being flat-out rude to you (which has happened maybe once or twice in my life), should not be eating in restaurants.

    88. ThingsMyExSaid Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 4:06 pm

      Can we date? Because I suspect a catch like you would provide a lot of gems for my website. –

    89. Lauren Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 4:07 pm

      Well, this is pretty obvious.

      You’re a rich white male from East Longmeadow. You went to Yale. You graduated summa cum laude. Well done, sir. What a bright future!

      Except, you work for the Post. You’re probably intelligent enough to understand that it’s a laughingstock to the thinking masses (a group that includes all those twerpy servants). More likely, you’re aware of how much it disappoints your father. Thanksgiving dinner is awkward, huh? Still single at 47? Ouch.

      You could have made something of yourself, Kyle, but you had to follow that dream of being a novelist, didn’t you? Now, $100,000 in Ivy league debt/half your trust fund later, your books get one-star reviews on Amazon and you work for the Post. I’d be pissed at the world, too, Kyle. Especially if I wasn’t getting laid.

    90. Adal Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 5:46 pm

      Kyle….please stop spending a few weeks in France every year and just move there.

      Nobody will ever love you.

    91. Logan Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      I don’t think I’d be as offended if you weren’t so ugly. Who in the hell are you to criticize anyone? You are a GINGER!

    92. Sara S. Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 7:31 pm

      I cannot say I agree with all of your column, perhaps 99% of it though. It seems like the majority of servers believe that the patrons come to see them and care nothing about the food. If they want to make more money get a different job. Keep them crying.

    93. tim Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 8:07 pm

      shave your head forever you give gingers a bad name

    94. Nate Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 8:26 pm

      You must be pleasantly surprised by the response you’ve received so far. A very “annoyed” response to say the least. Whatever helps you make a name for yourself.

    95. kishke Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 9:54 pm

      Kyle Smith is the author of A Christmas Caroline. Try reading 5 pages of it—enough said.

      I haven’t read A Christmas Caroline, but I have read Love Monkey, Kyle’s other book, and it’s great. Even funnier than this waiter article, and that’s saying a lot.

    96. david Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 11:35 pm

      This is the most publicity you have ever had. Thanks the bitch waiter. Then go hit a Drive thru next time. You broke the rules…never mess with people who handle your food idiot. You are unreal. Go to France please! Your Picture makes me want to puke

    97. Zach Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 11:53 pm

      Agreed, kishke. I read both before I even knew about Kyle as I heard about them from a friend of mine. Very funny, very insightful. Wish he’d write another one.

    98. Jack Says:
      March 5th, 2013 at 11:55 pm

      I for one believe that Kyle Smith is allowed to hate this waitrons because he is better then them. Waitrons are awful terrible people who need to be brought down a notch.

    99. kishke Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 12:14 am

      You know what’s weird? When you google Kyle Smith (as I sometimes do when coming here), they show him as writing three books, the third about his experiences as an emergency room doctor. Except of course they have the wrong Kyle Smith.

    100. Niko Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 12:27 am

      Dear Kyle,
      I believe your drinking and cocaine use has begun to bleed into your work, something you probably swore would never happen back when you still had integrity. By the cruelness of your op-ed I would suspect you have 5 more years of hellish drinking and drug use before you will start the rehab ride. You and your editor are both loosing control of what is common decency. I bet you were both high although his addiction is further along because he allowed your idiocy to go to print. Good luck in trying to conquer your addictions! Although someone who thinks like you do will never accomplish sobriety and that makes me smile as I serve you.

    101. Danielle Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 1:13 am

      How hideously affected are you?

    102. Tom Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 4:17 am

      Although you could have said it in a less inflammatory manner, I agree with the gist of your article. Servers are paid to do a job, which includes listening to what we want, and bringing it to us. All the fluff is unnecessary, and tipping is a purely American custom, which is strange considering how much more professional waiters in other nations act. I’ve been a server myself, so I speak from experience; the job is so easy, a trained monkey could do it. In fact, that’s already happened. Just figured I’d voice my support amongst all these childish dissenters, you don’t deserve all the hate you’re getting.

    103. rishe Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 6:34 am

      then just order your food to-go and leave if you hate eating out in the U.S. so much. i am a server in Virginia and we are like that here too. The reason is restaurants train us to do those things. your entitled to your own opinion. i dont care what you think there are lots of people like you. the difference is they order to-go, and your just dumb lol.

    104. Zach Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 11:26 am

      Maybe the whole CBS fiasco scarred him for life about another book? He should just write another one. Maybe about waiters….

      By the way, Niko, you have to come up with a better way to offend Kyle than calling him a cokehead and an alcoholic. I don’t see where you even get that from but you sound like an 8 year-old on the playground, spewing the first bits of nonsense that surface in his simple mind.

      And it’s spelled losing, not loosing. Has your cocaine addiction bled into your work too?

    105. Lexie Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 11:36 am

      Hello Mr. Smith,

      I am writing to you in response to your article “You Got Served”. I understand that every individual is entitled to his or her own opinion but the fact that you found it proper to publish such ignorant, egotistical and demeaning remarks is absolutely disgusting. I have a few opinions regarding your take on the New York service industry and I certainly hope you find time to digest them.

      You shared your bigoted feelings about the industry with an audience of readers who are all too often influenced by media sources such as The New York Post. Isn’t it one’s job, as a columnist/journalist, to have their facts straight before they construct an opinion, review or critique? You sir, are not very good at your job. What you have done is insanely irresponsible.

      I am 23 years old and have worked in all different types of restaurants since the age of 15. I am currently employed as a waitress at a restaurant that seats nearly 300 people in one of the busiest areas in Manhattan. I have held every job imaginable in the restaurant world: bread runner, bartender, hostess, server, cashier, “busgirl”. I’ve worked with more than just out-of-work actors and starving artists which was a broad, naive generalization on your part. Co-workers have included Columbia Medical Students, hardworking mothers and fathers, accounting students, Juliard graduates, accomplished Broadway actors, culinary school students and aspiring business owners, just to name a few. I have two degrees myself. You have NO real understanding of how restaurants work and what the employees of these establishments have to deal with.

      Let me explain something to you, every person you encounter when you walk into a restaurant is there for your satisfaction. We all want you to feel special, relaxed and completely taken care of. We are paid less than minimum wage to cater to your every need. WE LIVE OFF OF YOUR TIP! THIS IS WHY WE CHOOSE TO BE FRIENDLY! Trust me, if it were up to us, we would make certain that patrons like you knew exactly how we felt about them. I am speaking on behalf of the servers, busboys, bartenders, baristas and runners (employees who bring you your sliver of trout which YOU chose to spend money on and which the server did not personally price at $28). That’s right, I share my tip with the people you assume are doing my job for me; this means when you tip 11% because you didn’t appreciate my hospitality, not only are you making it difficult for me to pay my rent but you are also affecting the livelihood of at least four other people.

      I understand you “try to spend a week or two” in France each year but I recommend you try educating yourself on French culture before your next visit. French waiters make a yearly salary and are lucky enough to receive health insurance. It’s a completely different system and you should be embarrassed for even attempting to make a comparison between the service industry in New York and the service industry in another country.

      The primary reason I chose to email you this morning is actually to lend some advice. I thought it might benefit you to know that your picture has been printed out at the restaurant where I serve and that your name is circulating throughout the industry. You might consider making reservations under an alias when dining in NYC from now on. It might also prove helpful to dye your hair and invest in a pair of prescription-less lenses. In short, I suggest you hide you identity or lay low for a while. Better yet, why don’t you keep the $16.50 you would have left on your $150 bill and extend your vacation.

      You don’t deserve the experience of dining out and the servers of New York definitely don’t deserve your rude, self-absorbed, disrespectful, childish, self-righteous, unappreciative (should I keep going?), sexist, ignorant, elitist, brainless, clueless, accusatory, naive, stupid, mindless, RIDICULOUS antics. Best of luck “getting served” from here on out!

      Enjoy your frozen dinners!

    106. Niko Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 12:28 pm

      Dear Zach,
      Where do I get that from? His letter is so condescending and offensive he had to have been high to write it and to then think its funny. That is where I get it from. His judgement on how ‘funny’ the article was COULD only have come from someone who has lost touch with reality. ‘You’re a server now serve’!?!?!?! Are you kidding me. I do not sound childish I speak from experience. When I was a douchbag addict I would belittle others to feel better then I did. That is the first thing that came up for me and I stand behind it. By the way more then 6 years sober so @$#% off!

    107. Zach Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 12:54 pm

      Dear Niko,

      It’s spelled judgment, not judgement. It’s douchebag, not douchbag. It’s more THAN 6 years sober, not more THEN 6 years sober. Your grammar is also deeply flawed. Is English your first language?

      Congrats on your sobriety. But if you’re going to obsess over minutiae from Kyle’s innocuous, week-old column like it’s the New Testament, I’m going to have to point out the linguistic deficiencies of a man who clearly is also deficient in prioritizing his problems and his judgment, and his ability to comprehend the difference between a joke and an attack.

      If you have such a personal problem with Kyle and his column, why are you wasting your time on his blog? What does attacking him accomplish? You’ve voiced your poorly written discontent, now move along and off this blog. Hopefully my time spent talking to you will give us one more American who can write in English proficiently.

    108. Tyler Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 1:28 pm

      Another cheapskate diner who writes for the worst paper in America trying to justify his half-ass philosophy. Maybe the post doesn’t pay enough and he can’t afford to eat in the city he live/work in. We were all happy to see Andy Rooney go now its your turn.

    109. Bob Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 2:27 pm

      Kill yourself kyle

    110. Amanda Mac Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 3:00 pm

      I think, Kyle… And I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here… I think that that cute little article that you wrote was probably just a misunderstood attempt at comedy. No one can actually be that much of jerkoff and not realize it.

    111. Obama bin Biden Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 3:54 pm

      Rex Reed is appalled.

    112. Zach Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 4:13 pm

      What a childish group of adults. Telling a writer to die because of his difference in opinion.

    113. Jessica Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 4:18 pm

      I think I’m in love with LEXIE.

      Can I just say DITTO???

    114. Holly Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 5:31 pm

      I was completely disgusted by your article.

      You should be blacklisted from all restaurants and all theaters in NYC.

      Move to France. Guarantee you, if you ever do get sat at these “reservation only” establishments (that have clearly been dodging your service cause they can tell you are an idiot) you can enjoy your meal (which will probably be spit upon because the French server will think you are a stupid american f-wad). But, enjoy that spit-riddled meal and the lousy service, with the piece of mind knowing, that in France, the servers are paid a livable wage and have benefits.

    115. Vanessa Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 5:37 pm

      Well I guess Zach also likes to generalize just like Kyle because if you’d notice from most of these comments no one is telling him to die. Most of these comments are pointing out the fact that he demeaned and offended a large group of people. Maybe if Zach wasn’t up Kyle’s a** he would see that.

    116. Amanda Mac Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 5:37 pm

      Zach, this is our difference of opinion. It’s being stated in a manner of equal class as the article. Get off your high hypocritical horse.

    117. Rebecca Cowan-Thompson Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 5:51 pm

      @ zach and yet you are still here attacking people over their grammer? You have been tracking the comments since day one so hush

    118. Grory Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 6:37 pm

      Y’know what? I’m gonna start reading Lou Lumenick instead.

    119. Kristen Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 7:20 pm

      Very ballsy move showing your photo. I, being a NYC server and as many other nyc servers, will make sure to memorize that ignorant face of yours so that we can make sure that every table reserved. Good luck ever eating out again in nyc!

    120. Hermione Snarque Says:
      March 6th, 2013 at 7:42 pm

      Because you raise so many points in your original column, I’ve cut & pasted it here, adding my thoughts throughout. In the interest of clarity, I will highlight YOUR original commentary with asterisks.


      Ohmygod! I’m so sorry…I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you! Kyle, right? Kyle Smith? THE Kyle Smith of New York Post fame? Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!! How ARE you??? Are you still all wet?

      **Well, hi there! I’m doing great this evening, thank you! It is quite rainy out there, you’re absolutely right! I guess we’re both really super-stoked to be here in this restaurant that’s more crowded than my junior-high-school cafeteria! Imagine the excitement, eating food in public! And your name is Jason?**

      “Super-stoked” is totally an understatement, Kyle. Over-the-moon, more like. And did you say you went to junior high school? Me, too!! Wow, we, like, have so much in common, dude! How awesome is that?

      **Jason! I don’t care! Just bring me some food and go away!**

      Abso-freakin-lutely, Kyle. As a professional waitron and apprentice psychic, that’s exactly what I’m here to do. I’ll just bring you the special, m’kay? You know, because you’re about to forget that I’ve described it, and will also forget that you didn’t order it. (I’m my master psychic’s star apprentice, dontcha know?)

      **Waiters and waitresses at New York’s self-consciously hot restaurants need to cool it a bit. I don’t care how charming you are on your auditions. I’m not here to make friends. Frankly, garçon, I don’t even need to know your name. By the time you tell me about the specials, I’ve already forgotten it. You’re a servant. So serve.**

      (giggle) You said the “G” word. In French! Tres bien, mon ami, tres bien. Oh, and in case you forgot, mon nom n’est pas Jason. Je m’appelle Hermione.

      **Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don’t even serve anything anymore. They seem to view themselves as party planners or masters of ceremonies. After taking my order, they disappear and give way to a series of surly busboys who do the food delivery, the clearing, the refilling of the water glasses.**

      Oh, and before I disappear, I’m compelled to explain that I’m not actually a waitron. I’m a thespiatron (my generic term for all five sexes of actors: Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, Bisexual, Straight)

      Also? Since you’re dining alone, I’m eschewing my party-planner hat. I mean, seriously, Party of One? Like, totally a misnomer. Just sayin’…

      **After the order goes in, the next time I see Jason is when, after first ensuring that my mouth is full, he sneaks up behind me and hits me with a cheerful, “HOW IS EVERYTHING?”**

      Oh, Kyle…how my predecessors have misled you. After your order goes in is when the magic happens! That’s when we start fighting in the kitchen about how best to service you.

      And, for the record, we’re trained in the Heimlich Maneuver, so choke away.

      **In France, where I try to spend a week or two every year, waiters don’t even work for tips (the customer is expected to leave a mere euro or two) and yet they’re so much less annoying.**

      Ah, Kyle. The saying “When in Rome, er…Paris” comes to mind. You see, in France, waitrons (or are they ALL male in France?) are paid a living wage; thus, a mere euro or two is akin to a bakery throwing that 13th doughnut into the bag. Nice to get, and always appreciated, but you’ve already paid for the first 12.

      Here, in the United States of America, waitrons are paid approximately one-third the minimum hourly wage, because it is usual and customary for patrons to tip waitrons; thus, in theory, providing sufficient compensation to make up the difference. If ignorant patrons such as you understood that, I suspect American waitrons could afford to cultivate an air of bored indifference so as to minimize any potential annoyance.

      **It’s the difference between a country where the children act like grown-ups and one where the grown-ups act like children.**

      I’ve no doubt you represent our country well on your annual treks to France.

      **The French waiter sees himself as a party in a simple business transaction. When he’s ready for your order, he says, “I am listening.” Not talking. Not smiling like a politician. Not preening like the most adorable scamp in “Newsies.”**

      For the record, we’re listening, too. It’s the polite thing to do. We just don’t feel we have to announce it. I say French Fry, they say Pommes Frites. We just say it with a smile. And without an accent.

      Since you brought it up, have you actually seen “Newsies”? Judging from the adorable scamps’ scruffy attire, I’d say the preening ship sailed long before the orchestra played the first note of the overture. Pretty weak analogy for a journatron…even one that works for The Post.

      **When a French waiter brings you the food (himself, instead of subcontracting the job), he, like P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves, simply trickles off, instead of vanishing. If you want him, you can simply wave him down. He’s standing right over there.**

      Clearly, you’ve never worked in a fine dining establishment. In a fine dining establishment, delivering the highest quality food is of the utmost importance. If your waitron is servicing a patron other than you, this standard might be compromised. Hence the need for subordinate service staff (you can call them second-degree servants, if you like.) The finest establishments employ these 2nd-degreetrons to ensure the delivery of your meal at its hot-and-steamy best.

      **The worst part of dealing with American waitrons is we’re forced to be nice to these creepy ex-darlings of their high-school theater departments because of the unspoken hostage drama that’s taking place behind the scenes with our food.**

      Kyle, sweetie, you have no idea. And it’s really better that way. Trust me.

      **It’s as exhausting as pretending your friend’s baby is cute. Your mouth actually starts to hurt from smiling.**

      If it’s half as exhausting as pretending your patron’s not a self-important, ungrateful prick, then I’ll see your friend’s ugly baby and raise you a douche-bag.

      **“Of course you spit in the food if you don’t like the customer,” I once said to a girl I knew who had been a waitress for years.
      “Nah,” she said. “If we didn’t like someone, we’d just throw his steak on the floor.”**

      One can only imagine her response after reading this.

      **Which is why I’m being so nice to you, Jason! In reality, I can’t stand you, you twerp! As you’ll find out when you see my tip!**

      And so we FINALLY get to the heart of the matter. This is about “your tip”. It’s all so very clear to me now.

      **And what’s with the squatting while you’re telling me about the specials? I know the waiter’s handbook says you get more tips that way because you remind us of cute, subservient creatures we actually like, such as golden retrievers. But it’s juvenile. Stand up and be a man. As much of a man as it’s possible to be while enthusing over whipped-feta crostini.**

      This just puzzles me. Waitrons don’t have a handbook. Waiters (whom, you’ve previously implied, are from France) apparently do. And you love those French waiters. Am I the only one who sees the irony here?

      And, for the record, Golden Retrievers can be many things, including cute, but they are in no way subservient to creatures like you. Whether you like them or not, is of no import.

      “enthusing over whipped-feta crostini.” And you said you didn’t remember the specials.

      **Jason, if you were at all useful, you would at least keep anyone from clearing away my plates while I’m still eating off them.**

      Kyle, this would be easier to accommodate if you would actually use the silverware we provide for our patrons’ use. It’s so very hard to ascertain when one is finished eating their meal when one consumes it in the same manner as the afore-mentioned Golden Retriever.

      **I realize you want to hustle me out of here so you can replace with a new customer. I’m a capitalist. (And in France, I’ve been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved — for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don’t they want my money in the meantime?)**

      You have this wrong on so many levels. You aren’t being hustled out to be replaced with a new customer; you’re being hustled out because you’re an asshole. (And in France, I’m sure they think you’re an asshole, too. So, no, they don’t want you or your money at any time. Way to perpetuate the reputation of The Ugly American, Kyle.)

      **Nor am I sentimental about lingering for hours in a restaurant. After a while, the way everyone seems as though they’re determined to act out the concept of “Having a wonderful time!” starts to creep me out.**

      Creepy is as creepy does, Forrest.

      **But, Jason and Co., it’s been only eight minutes since you set my plate down. There’s still food on it. There’s still a fork in my hand. Do I need to actually hunch over my meal and make snarling sounds to keep your busboy buzzards at bay?**

      You don’t have to. In fact, we prefer that you stop. It’s creeping out our other patrons.


      In still more words, YOU. SHOULD. WORK. ON. YOUR. SOCIAL. SKILLS. And at least I’m only on one of your nerves. To the rest of us, you are the Fibromyalgia of polite society.

      **New York restaurants’ tables should be set with a little two-sided sign that can be flipped around as appropriate. STILL HARD AT WORK on one side. MY WORK IS COMPLETE on the other.**

      New York Post whingetrons should wear a little two-sided sign that can be flipped around as appropriate. I’M DINING ALONE BECAUSE I AM AN ASSHOLE AND BECAUSE I HAVE NO FRIENDS on one side. I’M A SHITTY TIPPER on the other.

      **I’m spending $150 tonight, Skippy, and yet you were in the Federal Witness Protection Program when I needed a second drink. Now you want to hustle me into dessert and coffee. Uh-uh. Negative. This $28 sliver of trout still has about $9 to go, and I’m not leaving any of it behind. Enjoy my 11% tip.**

      Here’s the thing, Smitty. You’re attitude sucks, and the last thing you need is more alcohol thrown on that fire. Furthermore, nobody cares whether you have dessert and coffee or not. Why don’t you just finish your fish and stop blaming the world for the fact that your “tip” is considerably smaller than the norm. Personally, I’d blame your parents.

      But they’re probably hiding somewhere in France.

    121. Jake Says:
      March 7th, 2013 at 9:53 am

      Guys guys guys… He’s an opinion columnist for The Post. … … He loses.

    122. Jay Says:
      March 7th, 2013 at 5:31 pm

      At first I was mad when I read your article but then I saw your picture. Based on your shirt and general ugly “gingerness” I’m not even made anymore. I pity you.

    123. Kathryn Aagesen Says:
      March 7th, 2013 at 10:17 pm

      I love red heads. I always have, there are a lot of people who prefer red heads, and I’m one of them. It makes me sad the way people have a vile reaction to that certain coloring, and they say “ginger” in a derogatory way. Why is this acceptable? I would just like to point out that cruel name calling in retaliation to some dude being insensitive is ignorant. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and even though Kyle Smith’s opinion is neither kind nor very cool–it’s way worse to insult his physical appearance. Red hair being unattractive is not a fact, it’s an opinion. I’ve waited a million tables and calling someone ugly, thinking it, posting it–that’s what really offends me. People are going to disagree! Deal with your differences in a civilized manner.

    124. christine Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 12:00 am

      Wow…just wow. I’m guessing your friends don’t invite you to dinner out very often. And by the way, most servers are definitely having a great time mocking you in the kitchen and couldn’t give a sh*t about your measly tip. Because they knew how much you were going to leave them before you ever sat down. Predictable.

    125. Chris Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 2:11 am

      Keith, you are complaining to much, about everybody. You seem very unhappy with yourself. You need a change. Start with the man in the mirror.

      “What you think, you become”

    126. Peter Cormican Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 11:43 am


      As a part time server I found your article
      rather insulting. Obviously you scorn the folks
      who work in servile professions.
      Although you are accomplished in your work,
      your disdain and contempt for we peons only
      denigrates your work. But you are a critic and
      as one, as Oscar Wilde said,” know the price of
      everything and the value of nothing.”

    127. Zach Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 12:37 pm

      @Rebecca Cowan-Thompson

      Grammar, not grammer.

    128. SK Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 1:08 pm

      Uh-oh. Our spelling monitor, the guy who types “pre-martial” instead of premarital and “Revelations” instead of Revelation, is BACK.

    129. Zach Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 1:32 pm

      I should probably proofread more. And type slower. But I called Rebecca out because she was criticizing me about correcting for grammar…having spelled grammar “grammer”. I thought it was funny she was criticizing about checking for grammar when she spelled grammar wrong.

      These mistakes of mine, pre-martial and Revelations, are the result of my fast typing and admitted lack of thorough proofreading. Pre-martial (a common mistake of mine, actually) is clearly a result of fast typing – mixing up the “i” and the “t”. “Revelations” was clearly my finger hitting the “s” key accidentally as I moved on to the next word, as opposed to the glaring, 3rd grade-level mistakes I enjoy pointing out in the wildly overzealous people attacking Kyle’s Sunday column from two weeks ago.

      Still, it’s “grammar”, not “grammer”. That’s just a funny mistake. It’s like someone writing, “You’re English is horrible.”

    130. SK Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      “Pre-martial (a common mistake of mine, actually) is clearly a result of fast typing – mixing up the ‘i’ and the ‘t.'”

      Yeah, clearly. ; ) But see The hyphen is wrong.

      Live by the sword …

    131. Kyle Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 3:21 pm

      Strangely, enough, pre-marital is often pre-martial, though, isn’t it?

    132. SK Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 3:41 pm

      That’s why we have family law courts.

    133. Kyle Says:
      March 8th, 2013 at 4:09 pm

      Courts marital.

    134. grace Says:
      March 9th, 2013 at 1:18 am

      Gosh, you are truly an idiot. I overtip in a country which DOESN’T force serving staff to live off of your paltry 11%. Why? Because I HAVE worked in the service industry, and I’m making up for the fact that at least twice a day they are forced to deal with people like you. Don’t come and live in Europe. We don’t want you.

    135. kishke Says:
      March 10th, 2013 at 2:30 am

      a country which DOESN’T force serving staff to live off of your paltry 11%.

      No one’s forcing waiters to take these jobs. They do it b/c it’s financially worthwhile. A number of waiters above boast about how much they earn.

    136. Nate Says:
      March 10th, 2013 at 10:43 pm

      You are total trash Kyle. What a cheapskate.

      You think that’s cool? Post your salary if you’re such a big shot.

    137. Monty Says:
      March 11th, 2013 at 4:54 pm

      I had great service the last time I was in New York. It was at Locanda Verde. Maybe you should just go there and tip 20%. You article was incredibly negative, and not that funny, which is what you were going for, I presume. There is so much that is great about dining out in New York, and servers often are part of that greatness. And comparing dining in NYC to dining in Paris is not just akin to comparing apples and oranges, it is sloppy journalism. Clean it up, please, and don’t hide behind a quote by Kingsley Amis. You, sir, are no Kingsley Amis.

    138. Megan Says:
      March 11th, 2013 at 9:53 pm


      I have worked my way through college as a server, earning a bachelors degree with honors. This servant owns their own home in addition to two rental properties which are completely paid off. I wait tables because i work for free at an internship. In one year i will be done being a servant to people like you but in the meantime i laugh at people who think they are better than me because i wait tables. In 25 years of life i have accomplished more than most people will in fourty years all working as a servant. I hope to see you at my job Kyle, so i can accidently spill your water all over your smarphone.

      Ps…bitchy waiter sent me

    139. kishke Says:
      March 12th, 2013 at 2:22 pm

      Something about Megan’s post tells me that the degree she’s earned is BS, and I don’t mean Bachelor of Sciences.

    140. Al Farkas Says:
      March 13th, 2013 at 6:01 pm

      I will take the high road and not critique your profession or general demeanor towards the people in the restaurant industry. There are many idiots in all professions all over the world, and to say that I 100% disagree with all of your observations would be disingenuous at best. I’ve been a bartender for 17 years and have worked in some of the busiest bars in the state of Minnesota. In fact just this weekend, I’ll be working at probably the largest grossing bar in the upper Midwest for St.Patty’s day and am preparing myself to work about 35 hours on Saturday and Sunday alone. (not to mention having a Minnesota Wild game on Thursday night and Kid Rock/Bob Segar a block down from where I work on Friday night)

      I don’t consider myself uneducated. From my experience, there are tons of people in my industry that are just as educated as anyone else. In fact, I’m a 38 year old bartender that has over $300,000 of equity in my 2 homes and a healthy retirement account to boot. As the housing boom has killed us and everyone else in this country, as well as dealing with unemployment which isn’t far from it’s all time high, we’ve seen a shift in the way that people are coming out of college and into the public sector.

      I personally work with several people at both of my jobs that have 4 year degrees from a very impressive big 10 University and have paid tens of thousands of dollars to get those diplomas. These are the same people I work next to everyday as they tell me they would rather wait on tables than make $30,000 a year at a dead end job. So spare me the fact that we’re all uneducated and there to bore the crap out of you routine. If you want to change the behavior, maybe you should talk about the decaying of the American corporate restaurant that is turning us servers into robots. I would read and pay for an article like that. I could care less if it’s your first time. I don’t want you to know my name. And I don’t want you to tell me yours. My goal each night is to get out of there, like I want to bore the crap out of both of us telling you about some dumb special that my manager decided to dream up. (incidentally that same person is probably making about 1/2 of what I bring home)

      And as for the rest of it. Another article you could write is how the restaurant business refuses to pay us and treat us like normal people because of people like yourself. I for one, would forego my $350.00 per night in tips to be a salaried worker with pensions, health, dental, vacation, sick pay and all the rest of the bells and whistles the normal American worker gets. But I can’t. So I have to rely on you. Because Uncle Sam decided to stick his head into my business, he’s also taking a percentage of my tip money now too so now it costs me more money to get all the stuff that I should be getting provided from my job. Bartending is my career, and I have carved a heck of a nice life out of it. I would never demean yours. So I guess if you don’t like to be bothered, and don’t like to be hassled by restaurants and their policies, then grab an apron and cook your own damn silver trout.

      Happy St.Patty’s day Bartenders and Servers!!!

    141. Helen Says:
      March 13th, 2013 at 11:53 pm

      wow, if you only knew what its like to be a server. Enjoy your 5mins of fame.

    142. kishke Says:
      March 14th, 2013 at 10:14 am

      Because Uncle Sam decided to stick his head into my business, he’s also taking a percentage of my tip money now too

      If waiters are paid in tips, why shouldn’t Uncle Sam get his share, just as he does from everyone else?

    143. Zach Says:
      March 14th, 2013 at 12:30 pm

      How is it anyone’s fault but yours that you bought 2 homes? If you were as educated as you have so pompously flaunted, during the housing boom you would have seen the writing on the wall that your second home was going to bite you in the ass one day.

      And what do you mean you aren’t treated “normal”? What do you suggest be done about your “low” salary? Should we have a $600/hr minimum wage?

      And why do you keep saying it’s “because of people like you”, directed to Kyle? Does Kyle tell your employers not to pay you “well”? Does Kyle tax you? Kyle said that he tips by doubling the tax and rounding up. So this outrage over Kyle not tipping is fabricated. You and all these other quacking fools pulled it out of your asses.

      Kyle tips more than, I’m going to assume, 40% of the population. How about you take this anger toward a Post article and direct it toward the guy who said, “I can’t tip you because Obama insists I pay my fair share in taxes. I wish it didn’t have to be this way for either of us.” Here’s the link:

    144. Isa Says:
      March 16th, 2013 at 11:58 pm

      Interesting that you seem to be aghast at the “hate mail”, which in reality is just restaurant workers sticking up for themselves after your unbelievably rude and ignorant article that dripped with aristocratic pretention. You tried to bully the entire sub-population of New York’s restaurant workers and dismiss each and every one of them in a sweeping over-generalized pathetic excuse for journalism. Are you really shocked people are calling you a douchebag? guess what- you are. stay home and cook.

    145. kishke Says:
      March 17th, 2013 at 8:47 pm

      I’m not aghast at the waiter’s nasty comments and mail: I see these unmannerly and often hateful responses as corroboration of Kyle’s point regarding the rudeness of so many waiters.

    146. Zach Says:
      March 18th, 2013 at 12:40 pm

      Kyle writes that he can’t say anything about his distate for their phoniness to their faces or he fears they’ll spit in his food.

      Waiters’ responses: Say it to my face! I’ll spit in your food!

    147. Bella Says:
      March 19th, 2013 at 9:52 am

      Hey there Kyle.

      Just had the pleasure of reading your article. Frankly, I’m not sure exactly who approved this demeaning excuse for an article…but I’m quite sure they could not possibly have worked in the restaurant industry.

      I waitress in NYC. NO I am NOT an actress/singer/model. Yet I am constantly stigmatized as if I were. “Our waitress couldn’t possibly give a damn if my steak is medium rare not rare TO medium rare” she’s probably waiting to hear from her agency about her “Big Break.” This is an actual conversation that I overheard about a coworker. Well, pal, she’s a full time student at law school.

      The truth is, we aren’t the chefs. If the food isn’t cooked correctly we are MORE than happy to fix it for you, but not with the assumption that we need to somehow take the blame for the temperature of your steak. Oh and BY THE WAY there are not “in between temps” for the IN BETWEEN TEMPS. Its rare or medium rare you insufferable “connoisseur” of beef. There is no rare to medium rare. By the time it reaches your table and sits there while you prattle about how important your life is, your steak (which will keep cooking as it sits) is quickly approaching that dreaded “medium rare to medium.” So shut your mouth and eat. Don’t get me started on “My coffee’s cold.” Well sir, it wasn’t 20 minutes ago when I delivered it!

      And Kyle, no one wants to be your friend. Our job REQUIRES that we smile and introduce ourselves. Trust me, I would love to be straightforward and business like, but the moment such a customer as yourself sits his pretentious behind down at my table the reverse ticker of my tip begins. Demerits for any single disturbance of your “experience.” Demerits because the food is wrongly prepared – I did not cook it. Demerits because the music is too loud – I’m sorry, am I the DJ or the radio? Demerits because the latte is cold – See my earlier comment.

      I am a server not a serVANT. I work to pay my bills and to put myself through graduate school. I am $4 an hour and as pompous and determined as you are to leave “11%” I would just let you know, that servers have a long memory on those who have screwed them. And while they certainly worked hard for you the first time you dined there, don’t expect anything similar next time.

      Frankly, I’d suggest you not dine at the same place twice. Ever. Or I can guarantee a bad time. Actually, do us all a favor. Stay home.

      Thanks Buddy!

    148. Micheal Prescott Says:
      March 19th, 2013 at 4:56 pm

      I am offended by all the use of the word douche bag that thos disgusting servents are throwing at such a sexy and honorable decent hunk of man flesh like myself named Kyle Smith. And unwed mothers should take care of their babys and leave the poor dads alone. You let your selves get pregnant.

    149. Sophie Says:
      March 20th, 2013 at 9:26 pm

      Hi Kyle,

      I’m a writer, too. And now that we’ve established what we have in common, let’s talk about what we don’t have in common.

      You have no idea. I’m sure you’ve gotten many letters like this so far, but I’ll say it again: I’d like to see you working for $4/hour, with no health care benefits, running your ass off and trying not to forget anything, being yelled at by the kitchen, yelled at by the customers, and yelled at by the owners, calculating math, space, and time in your head, and yet, on top of that, attempting to make the dining experience pleasant for your customers. We are bossed around, treated like shit instead of human beings, and still try to be friendly, yet you shit on us by saying that even our friendliness is disgusting.

      Well, here’s that sincere, heartfelt care that you have been missing:

      If you don’t want to end up in the future lying awake in bed every night regretting how terribly you have treated those around you, you might want to rethink your attitude.

    150. Sophie Says:
      March 20th, 2013 at 9:30 pm

      Don’t get me wrong, some customers are awesome! Many are, in fact. But this very possibility makes your comments even worse.

    151. Aly Says:
      March 22nd, 2013 at 7:59 am

      Hello Kyle,

      Just so you’re aware, we aren’t all actors/singers/whatever. I’m double majoring in physics and biology, serving as a way of putting myself through school and supporting myself because I don’t have some trust fund or rich parents to pay my way. I work 40+ hours a week, mostly on weekends when all my friends are actually free and want to see me. I make $2.13/hour and work 12-16 hour shifts. We aren’t allowed to eat unless we get our one 20-minute break in the middle of the day, and if we’re busy we don’t even get that. We don’t get to sit down at all the whole day.
      I hate telling people my name.
      I hate telling people about our ‘specials’.
      Trust me, all I want is to get you what you want with as little contact and conversation as possible but there are certain things that my workplace requires of me no matter how much I disagree with them. You bitch about how inconvenient it is to have to listen to specials but I’m sure if you sat in my section and didn’t hear them you would be the first to complain about how I wasn’t friendly or informative. Go ahead and tip 11% you cheap ****, but don’t pretend it’s because your server isn’t busting their ass to try and please you.

    152. kishke Says:
      March 22nd, 2013 at 10:08 am

      I hate telling people my name.
      I hate telling people about our ’specials’.
      Trust me, all I want is to get you what you want with as little contact and conversation as possible

      Yet another waiter who agrees with Kyle’s article. It’s great to see such support.

    153. Former Server Says:
      March 22nd, 2013 at 4:34 pm

      This is why I got out of the service industry last year. FAR too many entitled and just downright CRUEL people out there. The world is an ugly place, and this sorry little ginger makes it much uglier. Good luck out there in the REAL world, servers, those of you who work much harder for your dollar than this glorified blogger.

    154. Smiling Server Says:
      March 22nd, 2013 at 4:38 pm

      Hi Kyle. It would be wonderful if you opened your mind and heart enough to realize that us chatty and over-friendly servers are only acting that way because it is required of us.

      We work on tips ALONE. Yes the restaurant pays a small overhead, but never as much as minimum wage. Not even half. This is our lifeline here.

      Please re-consider encouraging others to leave such a poor, heartless tip. If you cannot afford to properly tip, please don’t eat at a restaurant in America. Please don’t punish us for following our restaurant’s cheesy rules, either. It’s not our fault. I won’t call you any names or get angry but PLEASE take this more seriously… can you imagine if you inspire hundreds of others to think it’s “ok” to treat other people so horribly? That is not the way to improve the system you see as broken. Email the restaurant owners themselves – THEY are the ones with the power to change how your servers interact!!!!

    155. CJ Says:
      March 28th, 2013 at 6:26 am

      These responses tell me that NYC wait staff really *are* a bunch of drama queens you describe. Give me a pleasant greeting — simple and sincere — then take my order (being understanding if my dinner companion can’t make up her mind,) come back from time to time to refill my water, check back shortly after the food comes out to make sure that everything is correct with the order, be available if we need you, and you’ll get an appropriately generous tip. If you don’t give good service, you don’t deserve anything more than the minimal tip. If you are a real jerk or totally incompetent you’ll get shorted (not stiffed) but your manager will hear about it.

    156. v Says:
      April 4th, 2013 at 12:56 am

      11% really? I may only be 28 but as a server bartender in several states I would hope one has more respect than that.

    157. Krista Says:
      April 4th, 2013 at 6:50 am

      Everyone is entitled to their own opinion,I will give you that. I just don’t understand why you need to be an ass about it. I think you should work for 6 months as a server before you go on a rant about something you clearly don’t understand!

    158. Obama bin Biden Says:
      April 4th, 2013 at 9:04 am

      Kyle wrote a nice piece on people with Downs Syndrome and I pointed out that many of them are very productive e.g. some are superb waiters and waitresses.

    159. The Most Interesting Man In the World Says:
      April 30th, 2013 at 9:43 am

      I don’t always leave comments, but when I do I make sure its about a very special kind of loser.

      Special people in life create and accomplish great things, you sir are just a commentator whose life is probably so uninteresting that you’ve made a career about writing about other people’s concerns and accomplishments.

    160. Kyle Says:
      April 30th, 2013 at 10:18 am

      Yes, just a speck of dust on the mighty Colossus that is the typical New York City waiter.

    161. Zach Says:
      April 30th, 2013 at 12:25 pm

      Is this post seriously coming back? Really?

    162. kishke Says:
      April 30th, 2013 at 4:02 pm

      It will never die. Waiters have lots of free time, and are tireless (and tiresome) in pursuing their enemies.

    163. Chain waiter Says:
      May 10th, 2013 at 10:26 am

      I’ve worked in a chain restaurant for over 2 1/2 years now. when I first started I loved my job. I’m a really fun and outgoing person, I just love meeting new people. At about the year mark I finally just gave up, the customers were getting ruder and perpetuating the stereotypes that are known through out the industry. I began to feel like every tables slave and that is not how anyone should be treated. for you to say that is just deplorable! I used to be the best server my establishment had, I had high marks in every area I got every table everything they needed and I did it with a smile. but as I made $ 4.40 an hour and the clientel started leaving 5 and 6% tips I started to think why bother if they dont think I did a good job then why should I try so hard. Its tables like you that make us judge our table before we even go there were all guilty of it I try not to but when people like you treat us like complete s*** how else should we feel. We are human beings too just because we dont force our opinions on other like blog writers doesnt make that any less true! Im glad I saw The bitchy waiter .com because what is posted on there is the truth and I love hearing about it and I hope that you enjoy the 15 minutes of attention youve gotten by putting someone elses job down congradulations dont you feel better now?!
      most sincerely,
      fed up chain waitress.

    164. RasBabaO Says:
      August 5th, 2013 at 8:23 am

      Learn to cook. NO one wants to see your face in their restaurant.

    165. Union Jack Says:
      August 5th, 2013 at 12:55 pm

      pops always said—

      dont insult the peeps who handle your food

      smiths insults gone but never forgotten among server class

    166. Jack Says:
      August 6th, 2013 at 5:46 am

      Poser. RAF victim for sure.

    167. Obama bin Biden Says:
      August 6th, 2013 at 7:21 am

      Be sure to avoid the special sauce on your burger.

    168. Paul Simpson Says:
      August 7th, 2013 at 2:07 pm

      You should become the new champion of paying waits a living wage. The reason you tip is to subsidize the restaurant industry. Restaurants pay far below even the minimum wage because if they had to pay a living wage then your meal would seem to be rediculously priced. By hiding the workers wages and expecting you to pay it, the restaurant industry is playing a shell game. Now obviously you can afford to tip, so is it your less than sufficient upbringing that makes you despise tipping so much? Would it be different if you or a loved one worked for tips? I want to write a book in response to you and your rediculous article, but i am already tired of thinking about you.

    169. Lauren Says:
      September 6th, 2013 at 3:37 am

      I work as a server two nights a week in addition to my day job in order to help pay off my student loans and to have extra money for my young son. I have been making a substantial dent in my student loan debt from serving, a debt I incurred while pursuing my nursing degree. So in addition to being your “servant” at night, I could very well be, at some point, your “savior” by day, due to the fact that I am an NYC ER nurse. I pray that you never find yourself in my ER, because I (your servant), may very well just “forget” to give you your so desperately needed pain meds. After all, if you believe in only giving 11%, you can’t possibly expect me to give you my 100%. So please stay healthy Kyle….I would hate to see you suffer.

    170. Kyle Says:
      September 6th, 2013 at 1:38 pm

      Hilarious, Lauren!
      Everyone please read what Lauren wrote. It delivers some insight into the nature of what those smiling waitrons are really like.

    171. Jennie Says:
      October 4th, 2013 at 3:41 pm

      Dear Kyle,

      Why do you let a group of people who work at a low-paying job and are not nearly as blessed with opportunity and success as you obviously are have so much control over your emotional state? I find it hard to believe that someone who seems so intelligent and so resourceful would enjoy being so angry and miserable, that’s got to be a crappy way to exist. I understand that much of what you write is either tongue-in-cheek or designed to shock people or provoke a response, and you’re very good at what you do! So maybe all the venom you so freely vomit at the wait-people of the world is simply a device to get people to read your stuff? I sure hope so, because if you REALLY harbor such anger towards a bunch of people who do a very low-paying job and feel that it’s ok to treat them as if they are somehow less deserving of basic respect and civility than you are, well, that would be really sad and a horrible statement about who you are as a person.

      I worked as a waitress for several years while my kids were growing up, that was how I supported us and raised them with absolutely no financial help whatsoever from their father. (Not your problem, gotcha. I don’t expect or want any empathy from you, just doing what I can to help you understand that I am just as human as you are.) It was rare that I only worked one job. Servers do not make a lot of money, even if they happen to be fortunate enough to get a job at a nice or popular restaurant where they make better money, they still typically just get by, especially if they have children at home.

      One thing I never understood about the extreme vast majority of other waitresses/waiters is why they let rude, clueless customers get to them so much. I learned early on in my time as a server that if I made a habit of allowing people who have a limited understanding of what it is to be well-mannered and even classy to get under my skin and affect my emotional state with their thoughtless actions and comments, I was gonna be going around feeling hopeless, envious, bitter and pissed off pretty much all the time. That would suck and, honestly, I didn’t have time for such crap. It takes many different kinds of people to fill up an entire world, and they can’t all be lovely or polite. A very wise person once told me that the things people do/say have very little if anything to do with me but everything to do with who they are, therefore when I encounter a person who seems unkind, willfilly stupid or annoying as hell, I should consider what it must be like to be them live as they do. It becomes really difficult to feel anything but sorry for such people when I consider what it must be like to be them. That’s why I hope you’re just writing for shock value or just to make a bunch of restaurant people scream about what a dickhead you are, it’s sad to think that you’re really such a miserable, small, angry person that you have to go around bullying a bunch of people who already have it pretty rough. Another thing that comes to mind is that you find it comfortable to treat servers hatefully because they can’t really defend themselves without risk of losing their jobs. If that is so, then that would make you a bully AND a coward, and would explain a lot about why you seem to be such a nasty, ignorant, petty little man, if your writing is actually sincere and not just a put-on act designed to shocl and outrage, that is.

      So, are you a liar or a bedwetting little pussy? Which one is it, Kyle?

      I agree with you that the way servers are paid and the system of tipping that’s co common to restaurants in this country sucks. It puts too much pressure on the customer and can take a lot of the enjoyment out of what should be a pleasant treat-dining out in a nice restaurant, especially for people who don’t dine out very often and are not savvy about tipping/restaurant etiquette. However, the solution to this is NOT to treat the servers like trash and/or stiff them. The only statement such behavior makes is that your mother was a woman of such loose and questionable morals tha she raised an son who has the manners of a billy goat but not nearly the brains. The peope who have the power to change the ways in which servers are compensated for doing their jobs are the people who OWN the restaruants, not the people whi work at them!!! The people who own restaurants do not care if you tip 11% or 8% or not at all, the only thing being a rude, classless tightwad does is make you an idiot if you are a regular customer at any restaurant anywhere in this country. If you truly do behave so rudely toward the people who serve you in restaurants and then under tip them, you have eaten some severely gross stuff by now if you behave like this in the same restaurants repeatedly. I think it’s awful that someone would do that to you, it’s a violation of trust as well as a violation of one’s self to allow the rude behavior of an ovbious tit to prompt them to do something as vile as spit or hawk a loogie into said tit’s food. It’s also self-defeating and asinine to allow the pillowbiting tightwad jerks of the world to affect one’s level of contentment or enjoyment of one’s job for longer than it takes to acknowledge that the pillowbiting thightwad jerk is, indeed, simply an ill-mannered twit whose whore mother couldn’t be bothered to raise him properly and teach him how gentle people behave in restaurants, probably because she either had no clue about such things herself or because she was too busy being the town sperm bank or both. (I’m trying to shock you and piss you off to get a reaction out of you…..did it work???)

      The people who work in restaurants are human beings and are just as deserving of common courtesy, human decency and respect as you are. They get to deal with a lot of fairly unreasonable people who think it’s ok to unload their stress and anger on them just because they happen to be wearing a black apron and a name tag. They get to run their legs off for customers who enter every restaurant they dine at looking for a reason not to tip because they are cheap, tacky, ignorant, miserable people, usually also bullies and cowards who enjoy doing everything they can to demean and insult a human being who is in a powerless position with not way to stand up for themselves without losing their job. If you see no reason to at least be polite (it’s free and thanks to the wonderful world of the internet you can even research and learn about it for free as well) and to simply treat other people as you yourself would like to be treated if you were in their shoes, then I truly do feel sorry for you and I hope you’re able to find a way to be a happier healthier person sooner rather than later.

      Life is too short to spend very much time being a miserable son of a bitch. If you must be anyway, why not be happy?

      Jennie Biscar

    172. yourmom Says:
      October 16th, 2013 at 10:45 pm


      The only attention you will ever be able to afford is negative. I’m not trying to “put you in your place” or hurl insults at you, instead I just feel a bit bad for you. I couldn’t understand why you disliked so many things. And in a world as beautiful as this, with the advances cinema has made, recycled or not, it’s not exactly a silent movie picture. You are really sour, and I’m sure nobody can wrap their mind around it, so instead of gaining positive ground, you continue to dig yourself deeper into this hole you’re in, and that makes me sad. You’ve irritated so many people to the point where it’s become something that brings you joy. There’s no joy in that Kyle. I don’t know what happened to you along the way because I don’t know you, but I do know that you need to get over it because it will consume you and turn you into the very thing you never wanted to become. I really wish I could talk to you so I could try to find the root of this imbalance. Please don’t put this on your website in the comments. Instead, put it in your head and retrace your steps, maybe watch Rocky’s inspirational speech to his son.

    173. David D Davidson Says:
      November 8th, 2013 at 1:29 am

      Is this guy getting paid to write this crap? I really hope not. I really also hope that he never has offspring, pending him getting a woman drunk enough to have sex with him. Nevermind, after seeing his photo, I understand where all of this anger comes from.

    174. Janet Says:
      December 31st, 2013 at 9:05 pm

      You should never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up. It’s obvious by your ignorance that you are a very sheltered man.
      Millions of people work in food service. Because of them, you are able to eat lots of different foods that you would probably never cook for yourself.
      I had a white collar job for years, but when the company closed… I started waiting tables to pay my bills. Perhaps you would have been happier if I had simply gotten on welfare?
      Waiting tables, I make between $20-30 bucks an hour.. Bet you don’t make that much writing your drivel here.
      Not all waitstaff makes that much, some barely survive. Thanks to you, someone’s life is a little harder when you go to eat where they work. I’m sure your mother is VERY proud.

    175. Kyle Says:
      January 1st, 2014 at 10:05 am

      Utterly bizarre mix of self-pity and arrogance. “I’m a humble server, be nice to me….and by the way I make more money than you.”

    176. Union Jack Says:
      January 2nd, 2014 at 12:35 pm

      advice from my old man, union man–

      never insult the people who can sneez in your food

      NYC waiters still remember talking about this—know a few

      they say never f

    177. Brendan Says:
      March 15th, 2014 at 10:52 pm

      Wow….it’s hard to believe someone in a position like yourself, can ethically and morally write an article like this….?? I have a bachelors degree in education and also a musician. I have also worked for companies such as ADP and Dun and Bradstreet as well. I recently have had some tough times in my life and needed to start from scratch. In this economy it’s very difficult to find a job so I recently became a waiter to make ends meet. It’s an extremely tough job, 3 or 4 days out of the week I work from 11:30 to at least or 11 and the rest of the rest I work from 4-11 or 11-4.. It’s a difficult job and backbreaking work. And yes, after the $2.20 an hour I get I have to tip out bar tender, bus boy and hostess. If I had to rely on people like you as a customer I wouldn’t even be able to pay my student loans each month… Let alone rent, health insurance, electric, gas, car insurance …medical bills. How dare you have the audacity to write such a hateful, childish and naive article such as this. The people you are attacking are hard working Americans that are just trying to make an honest living. I can’t count the amount of times I received no tip at all or a few bucks that won’t even pay out the busser and hostess. I work hard trying to make the dining experience for people like you a happy and satisfying one. It shows even in your “film critic” world, you have a lot of jealousy and hate for humanity…. Have you ever struggled in life? Tried to make the world a better place? Bring a smile to someone’s face? Hold the door for an elderly person? Bought some food for a homeless person? You come across as someone that only cares about themselves…. That won’t get you very far in this world… Sure, you work for the NY post and have the opportunity to critique people and film for a living… Maybe you should try being a waiter for a week or just try to humble yourself a bit…. ? The respectable thing to do here is apologize to the people you offended. I hope you’re man enough to do that at least. Because Kyle, unlike movies that you criticize daily, people have feelings and family. They certainly don’t deserve the hate you’re “serving” in that pitiful article.

    178. Steven Says:
      August 22nd, 2014 at 10:23 pm

      Shame on you Kyle S.

      You insult people who are being nice to you.

      You belittle one of the oldest professions.

      You ignore your moral obligations to pay your bills. (Correctly tip the person performing a service for you.)

      Your article was a long stream of unjust, untrue and unwarrented insults.

      I have a love/hate relationship with waiting tables. Most of my customers are nice people who understand that I work hard to ensure they receive a pleasant dining experience. The nuisances behind what is required to ensure a perfect meal is not the kind of thing learned quickly. I am 46, and have been waiting tables, off and on, since I was 15. I am still learning new things to impress my guests with. I work hard, long hours for my money, which I usually receive. The fact that I am employed, and work for years at the same restaurant is proof I can grin and take the abuse some customers dish out.

      Then there are the customers who abuse us, AND don’t compensate us. I have a mortgage on a 4 bedroom home in Atlanta. I have a car payment; and life, health and car insurance bills. There’s even a student loan I’m still working on from college. Are these bills you are adult enough to have? If you’re still a writer, are these additional expenses you could afford? See how insulting it is to be belittled for something as trite as a small income?

      We are paid $2.13 an hr. My paychecks are almost always $0.00 after we pay taxes. In a fine dining restaurant, tip out is in the area of 5% of our sales. An 11% tip becomes 6%. That is about 1/3rd the standard tip amount for AVERAGE service. (Think; A first year server at someplace like Applebee’s.) What would you do if your boss came up to you on payday, and said that because he had to buy a new set of tires for his Porsche, you would only be getting 1/3 your pay? You would probably point out that you have a contract stating your pay rate and you expect it to be honored. So, unless you state to your server, at the beginning of a meal, what you plan on paying them even if service is excellent, then you are breaking your understood contract with us.

      I don’t know if you are religious or not, but check out Matthew 22:21. “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, and render unto God the things that are God’s.” This is not only saying tithe your creator, but it is also saying that you are responsible for paying your bills. This goes for taxes, debts, AND Servers. Also note the way it is ordered. The secular debts are listed first. This is so that their importance is not belittled.

      In a continuing effort to make myself a better person, I have continued my learning my entire life. I hope you will too.


    179. kishke Says:
      August 25th, 2014 at 10:31 am

      “The nuisances behind what is required to ensure a perfect meal is not the kind of thing learned quickly.”


    180. Kyle Says:
      August 25th, 2014 at 11:37 am

      Steven, the thing about the nine percent tip was a joke. And anyway the joke was directed only at a specific type of unctuous-yet-oblivious waiter, the kind I never encountered before moving to New York.

    181. Jules Brouwer Says:
      August 26th, 2014 at 9:34 am

      Kyle, I seem to recall you moaning when I only tipped a barman one dollar for our two drinks. Yet here you are being persecuted.

    182. Kyle Says:
      August 26th, 2014 at 10:12 am

      I tip a normal amount. And you should too, when you’re in the US.

    183. Grace Says:
      March 28th, 2016 at 9:26 pm

      From a reader’s standpoint: your article shows very poor taste. You show no second view point, and the tone set forth is so stubbornly ignorant and pushes the boundaries of the imbecilic.

      As a decent human being: how dare you insult an entire group of individuals whose wellness, families, and livelihood are entirely hinged upon being kind and attentive despite all odds. You make me sick. You have no empathy for people in situations different from your own, and you show no willingness to learn of other ways of life. Instead you stand on your balcony and spit on whatever poor soul happens to walk under you, all the while imagining yourself as a better being than those you look down upon.

      Kindly take your poorly worded, misguided, bigoted opinion, go write it in your diary and burn it. Trash like this does not deserve to be called an article. It doesn’t need to be published, nor spread around. The most good that will come of this is that you will be forced to learn a different perspective. Hopefully you won’t have inspired any more people to be as rude and heartless as you.

      Learn some manners, respect people who provide you service that you’re not man enough to even try out for yourself. And next time you write an ‘article’, learn some high school english and find a counter argument to include.

    184. Jennifer Rivoli Says:
      April 9th, 2016 at 8:48 pm

      Suggestion for a small change to the quote that headlines your website…

      ‘There’s little point in writing if you can’t write.’

    185. Robin Says:
      April 10th, 2016 at 9:47 am

      I am not a waiter, however, I have performed this type of work, and my boyfriend worked as a bartender and waiter for several years prior to starting his own business.

      It is amazing to me that individuals like you attain success in this world. I guess I imagined that people who strive to create a less hate filled world could become a driving force for change. With the success of the racist, misogynist filled Donald Trump campaign, I have become acutely aware that people like you and Trump probably outnumber those of us who have a level of compassion and empathy. You probably consider yourself a thinking individual, but you are limited by your own internal dialogue that likely includes your rage towards anything or anyone that does not serve your narcissistic agenda. It is very sad that people like you thrive within the realm of the media machine that feeds the hatred of the ignorant. It is really great to know that you will never be able to eat at another restaurant without worrying that someone did something horrible to your food. Oh, I will say that you don’t worry, but we all know that you will. Just think of all the things they might do to get back at you. It makes me smile knowing you have likely been paid back multiple times already. So keep spreading the hate Kyle. You are only harming yourself and your family..oh..and probably everyone who goes to a restaurant with you in the future.

    186. kishke Says:
      April 10th, 2016 at 8:51 pm

      those of us who have a level of compassion and empathy.

      Just think of all the things they might do to get back at you. It makes me smile knowing you have likely been paid back multiple times already.

      Such compassion! Such empathy! Such self-contradiction!

    187. Don Reed Says:
      April 10th, 2016 at 8:54 pm

      Robin, you are a cure for insomnia. Keep up the good work!

    188. Kyle Says:
      April 12th, 2016 at 9:28 am

      her email address is “south Florida vegan”

    189. Obama bin Biden Says:
      April 12th, 2016 at 2:46 pm

      The majority of millennial nitwits waiting tables today probably don’t know about an article written by Mr Smith in 2013.

    190. instupidly Says:
      September 19th, 2016 at 10:12 am

      kyle smith, waste of sperm.

    191. kishke Says:
      September 19th, 2016 at 2:25 pm

      @instupidly: (excellent choice of name, BTW) — have you been stoned or napping since 2013? Or did it take you all this time to type out your thoughtful response?